today ar... i went to skool as usual.. nowadays nth much interesting happened, that's why i no blog.. but today, something happened. i went for my internal cca, the READING CLUB. but i just went for the secong half of the 3h thing... cos i went for the econs test for fun in order to avoid the club.. hahax. the 2nd half which i attended was quite sian.. first, we played peanut game, den memory games, den a game that the first group who finish half of a watermelon wins.. in the end, only two guys from my group ate the half of the watermelon... haha... they eat until the thing almost finish.. den the teacher i/c tok and tok and tok and tok until i almost fell asleep..
how "cool" can the club get!? sian diao.. dun wanna tok abt it le.. super tired now sia.
btw, i miss MW so so so much, i like "big guy" ALOT, and i love Him. for the entire day, i have been "seeing" images of MW. this morning when the VP was toking during assembly, i recognised a strong resemblance btn these 2 wonderful men; they are soft spoken and they have the tone of sincerity [even though the VP seemed to have caught his tongue and keep making mistakes when toking, as though he is super nervous and that his mind went blank, but hey! he got the notes for announcement right infront of him, so he no need to worry abt blank minds wad, can just read off the notebook.. MW will NEVER experience that kind of loss-for-words situation.. he's got the glib of the tongue sia. hahax..]..
btw, i finally know that MW actually got to the skool's division in the hq.. make me think and think which section he went to for so long... and asking him personally seemed way odd rite!?
den this afternoon, when i was sitting outside the staffroom to study [in the env with the world's loudest group of gossipers yakking behind moi], a teacher came out of the room and started toking on the phone.. i den "saw" MW, walking out and toking into the phone as i used to see him do so [whenever he receives a call at work, he'll come out of the room and stay away from company. maybe cos he got bad hearing and need to listen hard for the caller].. i miss him so much.. and everytime i listen to the radio - perfect10 - and songs of last year are played, i will be reminded ofthe times i used to chiong thru my self-studying in the learning@fairfield with the company of MW, him being somewhere where i can easily lift my head and see him.. i miss him so damn much. so DAMN much. DAMN MUCH.
ah yes, yh lent me the book "chicken soup for the christian teenage soul". there's so many stories which actually made me cry on the bus.. wah, me got emotional in the most inappropriate place. now, lemme share a story. [i am so dead; gotta type ALOT.]
louisa's bouquet
most of us would find it easy to name all our emotional tugs to the word "fren". we'd say they stick with us thru thick and thin, become bridges over troubled waters, share our secrets, forgive our follies and applaud our successes.
then there are the pplpe who peek into out lives, rearrange us and slip away before we even knowthey were our frens.
such was louisa.
louisa and i were not the most visible pple in our large high skool. in fact, if you had asked out classmates to describe us in one word, most of them would have chosen, "who?" we met in gym class and became talk-and-walk-out-of-the-soccer-field companions. she talked abt her plans and goals for a better life and everything she tot God had called her to be. no more travelling to work the harvest -- she wanted to be the first in her family to go to the college. she would provide a better life for her dad and mom and help her bros and sis thru skool she would live a faith-filled life and in the end go to eternity with God.
she worked toward her future in the decisions she made each day. she worked hard for good grades, took speech class for confidence, took an etiquette class class for style and worked after skool to save all shecould for college after pitching in to help her family. when i shared my plans, she would never let me dream away to someday. she would ask me the who, wad, where, when and why questions to help me define and refine my goals until she was satisfied that my plan was worked all the way thru. she'd say,"listen to God, do all you can do and leave the rest to Him."
our relationship came to an abrupt end 3 weeks later. on friday, we walked out to the soccer field, and the next mon we didnt.
and we never did again. lousia died. she came down with meningitis and died. just like that.
i couldnt wrap myself acound the reality of her death. louisa had helped me to see my possiblities, to be honest abt my weaknesses. to see the building of long-term dreams in the day-to-day decisions, then to bunch them all together and present them to God with as much joy and innocence as a child giving her mother a bouquet of wildflowers and weeds.
but i was still walking out to the soccer field, and louisa was gone. for the next few weeks i played while louisa was heavy in my heart -- until the day she shouted the answer to me. at least, i would like to believe it was her.
i was running down the field in control of the soccer ball. "go for the goal, louisa!" the team captain yelled. the mistakes in our names breezed thru my head.
i always passed the ball, not bcos i was a team player, but bcos i was fully confident in my inability to score a pt. [applies to moi too yea! - eunice] "louisa, go for the goal!" the captain yelled again. i saw the net, i knew wad steps to take, i took my shot and the ball smashed in.
"you did it, louisa! you made it," the team chorused. my sorrow began to be replaced with understanding.
"you did it, louisa," i whispered to my faraway fren.
and she had. louisa had reacher her highest goal first. she had lieved her life with faith and hope, and she was now with God.
"you made it," i said thru my tears.
whe your somedays have come and gone, you may look back and be surprised to find that your best frens were not always the funniest ones, the smartest ones or the ones you've kept since kindergarten. you may just find that your truest fren was the one who tiptoed into your life, taught you to pick your bouquet and then quietly slip away.
tmw, i'll enter another touching story[s] abt the relationship btn parent and child. and someone being angry with God for something He never did.
eunice, out!
