today, i woke up at 9.15 a.m.
wad an unearthly hour for a long weekend.
went to skool to do some self-study. left at 10.30, reached at around 11. that was fast.
saw wanru, den yiting, den cherie, den shandy. couldnt recognise them cos they all looked the same since they're wearing the same thing.. namely, gee. i cant spell it as ghee cos that is the same as lard and lard is fat. i cant say that they're wearing fats.
den studied all the way till 3pm. by then i had completed planning for my econs essay test and my physics remedial work.. left with maths. den i had planned to study till 4. so i decided to grab the new econs notes which was bought from malaysia to read through.. den i read about the advantages of international trade. many advantages, and there were two theories explaining the advantages. diao~
oh yar, met mdm ong when she came to skool to mark some exam papers. wad exam papers, i wanted to ask. but i didnt.. dun wanna ask too much..
den i left at 3.50 and reached aldersgate at exactly 5pm. waited for the bus for half an hour altogether.
met jun ming at the entrance of the gate. he looked happy. but after dinner, he told me that he wasnt happy at all. and that he was gonna change his handphone. he said he wasnt happy and dat he was afraid that he is intending not to go to church. didnt stop him from thinking of foregoing church, cos i too wasnt too passionate about going to church in the first place. during dinner, he was very quiet. he didnt joke, wasnt his 'usual' self. and during the walk to the bus stop, he kinda told me a lot of wad he was thinking.. den on the bus, we didnt tok at all.. he rested his head on the seat while i watched tv mobile.. den we bade farewell when the bus reached the bus stop.. after that i attempted to wave him goodbye from the bus when he alighted. but dunno whether he got see, cos he was looking for me but he didnt wave. or more like i didnt see him wave. haha~
after that he apologised to me for not talking much on the bus.. didnt accept his apology.
cos i wasnt upset that he didnt talk on the bus. i was actually finding the chance to have some sense of quietness with a fren.. isnt it nice to be sitting next to an old fren, just sitting there and doing nth after having a loooong tok.. haha~
oh yar, i spotted alot of "zhixiang" and his "brothers" hanging from lockers. and i took pics of every single one of them. so maybe the pple who saw me squatting or crouching down must have tot that i am crazy.
28 April 2006
today was a tiring day.
june didnt go to skool and she was tired.
i went to skool and i came back home dead.
on the way back i was energetic like hell cos after chasing the bus, my blood started pumping.
FINALLY HIRED A PHYSICS TUTOR.
his name is james and he sounded veri much like my amaths tutor. and he's accomodating, thank god. but it's also cos he's gonna earn sixty dollars from each of us for every hour. bet he will laugh his way to the bank.
and this morning was the most orangey morning i had ever seen. the sky was orange beyond description and i was dazzled. den it's the second evening that i see the entire neighbourhood painted in orange by the setting sun. it's beautiful.. took pics of how orange the hdb blocks got. budden i now lazy to post. next time, perhaps.
saw a lil of the rugby match today.. saw push, chantong and yinghan.
went home along.. sad.
june didnt go to skool and she was tired.
i went to skool and i came back home dead.
on the way back i was energetic like hell cos after chasing the bus, my blood started pumping.
FINALLY HIRED A PHYSICS TUTOR.
his name is james and he sounded veri much like my amaths tutor. and he's accomodating, thank god. but it's also cos he's gonna earn sixty dollars from each of us for every hour. bet he will laugh his way to the bank.
and this morning was the most orangey morning i had ever seen. the sky was orange beyond description and i was dazzled. den it's the second evening that i see the entire neighbourhood painted in orange by the setting sun. it's beautiful.. took pics of how orange the hdb blocks got. budden i now lazy to post. next time, perhaps.
saw a lil of the rugby match today.. saw push, chantong and yinghan.
went home along.. sad.
26 April 2006
"the irishman's eyes was soft and there was a faraway look in his eyes. 'because i knew another lass like you long ago. she had your warmth and your courage. she taught me how it feels to trust, to love, and to be loved. i don't fear dying because i know she's there, waiting for me. most men love easily and often, but jason is more like me. he will love only once - but it will be for always.' "
-once and always-
this paragraph made it to be the title of the book "once and always". why? cos many women out there wanna be told that she had taught a man to trust, to love and be loved. which women wont want a man who will love only once and for always? who wont want to be the antidote to someone's fear?
but such men are hard to find. so hard until it is a fantasy.
so i think i just only look into JUDITH MCNAUGHT's books to find such fantasy.
23 April 2006
this morning, i dreamt that i went to australia.. wanted to go to melbourne to visit elin, but couldnt cos it's too far away.. we den went to a shopping mall there and was at a candy shop.. mmmmmh, sweets. me and my mother was busy selecting wad sweets to buy home when i wanted to visit the loo.. my brother tagged along. dun ask me why. the next thing i knew was that we spent quite an effort to find the toilet until i finally found the toilet, supposedly. in a split second after i excitedly stepped into the place, the gates shut.
you may be asking, wad gates?!
okae, the toilet is not really a toilet. firstly, it's not well-lit. second, the cubicles had short short walls and doors, so anybody can peek into your cubicle any time. and you have to squat. and they have a prison-like metal gate which was labelled "the toilet". den there were soldiers who were issuing pple which cubicle to and who can go first. i was in the first batch to go. so while i was doing my business, a man boldly looked over the wall and said something.
wad's the something?
it's "do you know that you are in the gents?"
GREAT.
weird dream eh?
you may be asking, wad gates?!
okae, the toilet is not really a toilet. firstly, it's not well-lit. second, the cubicles had short short walls and doors, so anybody can peek into your cubicle any time. and you have to squat. and they have a prison-like metal gate which was labelled "the toilet". den there were soldiers who were issuing pple which cubicle to and who can go first. i was in the first batch to go. so while i was doing my business, a man boldly looked over the wall and said something.
wad's the something?
it's "do you know that you are in the gents?"
GREAT.
weird dream eh?
22 April 2006
today. elin told me that her grandmother passed away.
yesterday, i got wind of dean's grandfather meeting the same fate.
just now, i heard the trumpet sound that will only sound when there's a funeral in the neighbourhood. saw the picture frame from afar. haiz. someone who was old enough to be my grandfather.
death is in the air again.
and i wonder. why is it that they never smile in that veri important picture. it seems to say they led an unhappy life. unsmiling. grim-faced. i dun like.
please, use my SMILING passport photo as my funeral picture. otherwise, use the one which has me grim-faced, since i havent found a reason to be happy.
yesterday, i got wind of dean's grandfather meeting the same fate.
just now, i heard the trumpet sound that will only sound when there's a funeral in the neighbourhood. saw the picture frame from afar. haiz. someone who was old enough to be my grandfather.
death is in the air again.
and i wonder. why is it that they never smile in that veri important picture. it seems to say they led an unhappy life. unsmiling. grim-faced. i dun like.
please, use my SMILING passport photo as my funeral picture. otherwise, use the one which has me grim-faced, since i havent found a reason to be happy.
In Like or in Love?
http://www.gleemagazine.com/glee/article.cfm/1/cmi_1984963
By Ian Kerner, Ph.D.
Glee Contributor
Updated: Saturday, April 22, 2006
Dear Ian:
I’m dating this guy, and I’m not sure if I just like him or if I’m potentially starting to, you know, um, love him?
-- Lost in Love
There’s no easy answer, but try taking the Dr. Ian love test.
Is he taking on special meaning?
Once we start liking someone, we begin to see that person’s unique qualities.
Sure, he started out as just another spin on the dating treadmill, but now the others start to pale compared to him. There’s something, well, different about him. He's funnier, more intelligent and more sensitive than the rest of them.
In short, he’s becoming special to you.
Is he commanding more of your attention?
When we start to like someone, we spend a lot more time thinking about that person. We start to neglect family, friends and work. You check your answering machine, you wait for his emails, you wonder if something’s wrong with AOL. You find yourself thinking more and more about your times together, the little details like what he ordered to drink and the color of the shirt he wore on your last date. Random things and odd events start to remind you of him.
Yup, it’s true. He’s got your attention.
Are you wearing rose-colored glasses?
When we like someone we tend to aggrandize them, to make a lot out of the little things, to push aside their faults and to even see those faults as being cute or funny. We see their good qualities through a magnifying glass.
Our friends often don’t get what we see in that person, but it doesn’t matter, because we do. Ask yourself, are you seeing this guy in a way that makes your friends think you’ve swallowed a batch of hallucinogens?
If so, it’s time to get a new pair of glasses.
Do you feel consumed by emotion?
Are you passionate about him? Have you started and then stopped yourself from sending him little emails? When you’re with him, do those emotions intensify? Do you have to work hard to seem calm and collected when your mind is racing? Are you experiencing mood swings, from happiness to sadness, many of which are dependent on the attention you’re getting or not getting from him?
Are you eating? Are you sleeping?
Often when we start to like someone, we feel a sense of exhilaration and a tremendous sense of energy. Our hearts race, we forget to eat and have trouble sleeping.
Are you changing yourself?
Whether it’s your clothes, your hair, your taste in music and movies, or even your priorities and values -- when we start to like someone -- we often emulate them and change ourselves in ways that we think will make us more appealing and attractive to that person.
Do you want exclusivity from him?
If he was just a hook-up, it shouldn’t matter if he sleeps with other women. When we don’t really like someone, we don’t care if they see other people. It’s only when we start to like someone that we want -- or even demand --exclusivity.
If you answered yes to some or all of these questions, you’re not just starting to like that person; you’re starting to love that person. Yes, you’re falling, and you might be on your way to falling really hard.
It doesn’t matter how you got to this place. Whether it started out as just sex -- just a run on the dating treadmill -- once you start loving someone, all bets are off.
Ian Kerner, Ph.D., has a doctorate in Clinical Sexology and is the author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman
http://www.gleemagazine.com/glee/article.cfm/1/cmi_1984963
By Ian Kerner, Ph.D.
Glee Contributor
Updated: Saturday, April 22, 2006
Dear Ian:
I’m dating this guy, and I’m not sure if I just like him or if I’m potentially starting to, you know, um, love him?
-- Lost in Love
There’s no easy answer, but try taking the Dr. Ian love test.
Is he taking on special meaning?
Once we start liking someone, we begin to see that person’s unique qualities.
Sure, he started out as just another spin on the dating treadmill, but now the others start to pale compared to him. There’s something, well, different about him. He's funnier, more intelligent and more sensitive than the rest of them.
In short, he’s becoming special to you.
Is he commanding more of your attention?
When we start to like someone, we spend a lot more time thinking about that person. We start to neglect family, friends and work. You check your answering machine, you wait for his emails, you wonder if something’s wrong with AOL. You find yourself thinking more and more about your times together, the little details like what he ordered to drink and the color of the shirt he wore on your last date. Random things and odd events start to remind you of him.
Yup, it’s true. He’s got your attention.
Are you wearing rose-colored glasses?
When we like someone we tend to aggrandize them, to make a lot out of the little things, to push aside their faults and to even see those faults as being cute or funny. We see their good qualities through a magnifying glass.
Our friends often don’t get what we see in that person, but it doesn’t matter, because we do. Ask yourself, are you seeing this guy in a way that makes your friends think you’ve swallowed a batch of hallucinogens?
If so, it’s time to get a new pair of glasses.
Do you feel consumed by emotion?
Are you passionate about him? Have you started and then stopped yourself from sending him little emails? When you’re with him, do those emotions intensify? Do you have to work hard to seem calm and collected when your mind is racing? Are you experiencing mood swings, from happiness to sadness, many of which are dependent on the attention you’re getting or not getting from him?
Are you eating? Are you sleeping?
Often when we start to like someone, we feel a sense of exhilaration and a tremendous sense of energy. Our hearts race, we forget to eat and have trouble sleeping.
Are you changing yourself?
Whether it’s your clothes, your hair, your taste in music and movies, or even your priorities and values -- when we start to like someone -- we often emulate them and change ourselves in ways that we think will make us more appealing and attractive to that person.
Do you want exclusivity from him?
If he was just a hook-up, it shouldn’t matter if he sleeps with other women. When we don’t really like someone, we don’t care if they see other people. It’s only when we start to like someone that we want -- or even demand --exclusivity.
If you answered yes to some or all of these questions, you’re not just starting to like that person; you’re starting to love that person. Yes, you’re falling, and you might be on your way to falling really hard.
It doesn’t matter how you got to this place. Whether it started out as just sex -- just a run on the dating treadmill -- once you start loving someone, all bets are off.
Ian Kerner, Ph.D., has a doctorate in Clinical Sexology and is the author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman
21 April 2006
argh. blogger got engineering problem.
blogged in my gmail account just now. now, i shall repeat wad i had blogged inside there.
today, i ran 4.8km. wow!! okae, my running includes sprinting, jogging and walking.. the walking part takes up around 3 rounds altogether. that is 1.2km. den i either jogged or sprinted for the other nine rounds. loved the sprinting part. it's like, you feel great! and when i was at the last fifty metres for the first 2.4km, i sprinted and double-sprinted.
haha, sprint until june cannot catch up with me. haiz, i realized something. i can only be a short distance sprinter or a long distance walker. cant be a runner. haha.
oh, and besides the run, i had 100 jumping jacks as punishment for the class for being late for ten minutes. well, some may grumble that they have been on time and that they shouldnt be the ones shouldering the blame. but im not one of those "some".
i think, that wadever we do, we do as a class. whether we are late, early, slackish, etc, we do it as a class. cos pple in skool see us as a class. there is no such thing as individualism in pjc.
ahhhh... there's one more thing for me to add.
during ct time, i met with the most fascinating stuff about push. he spoke CHINESE! and he's fluent in those two sentences which he spoke chinese in, "help me pass. thank you." he managed to go,"beng wo pass. xie xie"
*fascinating. i am starting to find that my vocabulary is getting limited*
so cute!!!!! haha, there are times when i just find guys endearing. okae, i have found gals endearing at times too. haha. but have you seen a tall, macho guy become like a small lil cheeky boy? isnt that an endearing thing? hmmmm, maybe it's cos i have read too much judith mcnaught books which made veri manly men into veri simple boys who just need a woman to love.
after skool, went for my first official meal-for-today at long john silver with jialing, shaoqin and june. june was meeting a fren and so she didnt eat lunch. after lunch, we three went to walk around lot one.. went to cd shops to look at cds..
omigosh, i wanna watch king kong [the part where kk appears. other than that, spare me the agony of WAITING for him to come out roaring and thumping his chest. no wonder he's flat-chested.]. i saw the part where king kong was captured and was at a stage play where the pple re-enacted the scene where he got to know the screaming gal. den he went berserk cos he missed her too much. and the gal oso missed him. and i couldnt stand there to continue staring at the tv screen lest the shopkeeper chases me out of the shop.
den on the way home, i look up into the sky and saw true beauty. the sun was peeking through the white, fluffy clouds and shining right onto the road as the clouds nearby shone as if gold was aligned at the sides. and you know those sun rays where you can see "lines"? i tell you, they's beautiful.
some pple say that every cloud has a silver lining.
i say that every cloud has a gold lining.
den i saw a jetplane soaring in the same sky. it looks so tiny in that vast sky. and yet, if i stand beside it, i look even more insignificant. and i watched it zoom into a huge dark cloud. and i do know that it is highly dangerous under the situation where the aircraft enters a cloud as you cant see where you're going and there will be turbulence, etc.
hey, i am an avid fan of "triumph in the skies" orh.. so i know about such things.
so i kinda made a silent prayer that the aircraft wont meet with any misfortune.
blogged in my gmail account just now. now, i shall repeat wad i had blogged inside there.
today, i ran 4.8km. wow!! okae, my running includes sprinting, jogging and walking.. the walking part takes up around 3 rounds altogether. that is 1.2km. den i either jogged or sprinted for the other nine rounds. loved the sprinting part. it's like, you feel great! and when i was at the last fifty metres for the first 2.4km, i sprinted and double-sprinted.
haha, sprint until june cannot catch up with me. haiz, i realized something. i can only be a short distance sprinter or a long distance walker. cant be a runner. haha.
oh, and besides the run, i had 100 jumping jacks as punishment for the class for being late for ten minutes. well, some may grumble that they have been on time and that they shouldnt be the ones shouldering the blame. but im not one of those "some".
i think, that wadever we do, we do as a class. whether we are late, early, slackish, etc, we do it as a class. cos pple in skool see us as a class. there is no such thing as individualism in pjc.
ahhhh... there's one more thing for me to add.
during ct time, i met with the most fascinating stuff about push. he spoke CHINESE! and he's fluent in those two sentences which he spoke chinese in, "help me pass. thank you." he managed to go,"beng wo pass. xie xie"
*fascinating. i am starting to find that my vocabulary is getting limited*
so cute!!!!! haha, there are times when i just find guys endearing. okae, i have found gals endearing at times too. haha. but have you seen a tall, macho guy become like a small lil cheeky boy? isnt that an endearing thing? hmmmm, maybe it's cos i have read too much judith mcnaught books which made veri manly men into veri simple boys who just need a woman to love.
after skool, went for my first official meal-for-today at long john silver with jialing, shaoqin and june. june was meeting a fren and so she didnt eat lunch. after lunch, we three went to walk around lot one.. went to cd shops to look at cds..
omigosh, i wanna watch king kong [the part where kk appears. other than that, spare me the agony of WAITING for him to come out roaring and thumping his chest. no wonder he's flat-chested.]. i saw the part where king kong was captured and was at a stage play where the pple re-enacted the scene where he got to know the screaming gal. den he went berserk cos he missed her too much. and the gal oso missed him. and i couldnt stand there to continue staring at the tv screen lest the shopkeeper chases me out of the shop.
den on the way home, i look up into the sky and saw true beauty. the sun was peeking through the white, fluffy clouds and shining right onto the road as the clouds nearby shone as if gold was aligned at the sides. and you know those sun rays where you can see "lines"? i tell you, they's beautiful.
some pple say that every cloud has a silver lining.
i say that every cloud has a gold lining.
den i saw a jetplane soaring in the same sky. it looks so tiny in that vast sky. and yet, if i stand beside it, i look even more insignificant. and i watched it zoom into a huge dark cloud. and i do know that it is highly dangerous under the situation where the aircraft enters a cloud as you cant see where you're going and there will be turbulence, etc.
hey, i am an avid fan of "triumph in the skies" orh.. so i know about such things.
so i kinda made a silent prayer that the aircraft wont meet with any misfortune.
19 April 2006
i come today to tok abt yesterday.
yesterday, i woke up with my butt and inner thighs aching like hell. cant walk properly. up till today i find it painful to straighten my legs. okae, that's bcos i kinda pulled my muscle during pe on monday.
yesterday, we had physics test. kinda screwed away 12 marks. damn......great.
yesterday, we watched the rugby boys play against the SA team. haiz. they put up a good fight, no i mean, defence. but still, we lost. terribly. 15-0. we got the zero mark. and no, they did not score 15 goals. they scored three and earned five points each. and we watched it in a drizzle which got unbearable for me. and soon, my bag made standing unbearable for me. and keefe loke comes out with slippers that squeaked veri loudly while i was watching the match take place on the oh-so-muddy field. and ying han, one of my new classmates for this year, was busy hugging the opponents' legs. and chan tong was being his normal self: angry. and i went home with june, no i mean, zune.
okae, i shall talk about today.
how "fun" can this day get?
i come to skool only to get outwalk by a lot of pple whom couldnt have done so if i wasnt limping from the ache in my legs. den when i was walking up the ramp from the canteen to the concourse, which was in a direction against the flow of students, i saw chris, den pushpinder, den ying han. i smiled at all three of them and only push smiled.. ying han just wears that sheepish grin like he always does. chris looks over my head and never saw me.
den for econs, i had the most memorable lesson where i copied down almost all the notes which the teacher flashed cos i was lazy to carry the book around. no, i wasnt being punished. but it's bcos i know i will be dozing off if i didnt distract my mind, just like shandy. and i pride in myself for having written once again, a set of NEAT notes.
den for physics, i sat at the table opposite pushpinder's such that we face each other. it's like i spend one and a half agonizing hours of writing on a vibrating table. it was either push was shaking his leg under his table, or that he was vigorously rubbing his eraser on his tutorial. and i kinda didnt dare to tell him to stop shaking. and i wonder why i didnt dare. and he was busy being stung by the abrasion on his shoulder he suffered most probably from rugby. so i decided to let the poor guy take a break and oso train myself to write neatly and remain non-irritated by a vibrating table. and yea, i managed to do so.
den there was maths remedial. interesting lesson we had. gained a lot of enlightenment during the one hour. den i went for cca. but there was one hour before cca started, so i wandered around, looking for familiar faces. kinda lonely. den i saw peng yan [muahaha, the karaoke-cum-pw-got-only-a-grade-2 guy] and a group of s12 guys. i have seen the s12 pple from morning till evening from monday to friday. and somehow, i never get sick of seeing them. why? cos WEILING is in the class!! haha..
den cca started. had to present a book with a partner to the whole group of j1s and j2s. and i only read the book one hour before cca started. and the presentation was alrite. everybody couldnt find the energy to respond much cos it was oredi five pm. even i, the presenter was gonna die from fatigue.
went home alone. along with my dear wuny.
who's wuny?
it's my mp3 player. gave it a name. dun ask me why it's called wuny. i just tot of it.
wuny wuny wuny makes my world go round ~
yesterday, i woke up with my butt and inner thighs aching like hell. cant walk properly. up till today i find it painful to straighten my legs. okae, that's bcos i kinda pulled my muscle during pe on monday.
yesterday, we had physics test. kinda screwed away 12 marks. damn......great.
yesterday, we watched the rugby boys play against the SA team. haiz. they put up a good fight, no i mean, defence. but still, we lost. terribly. 15-0. we got the zero mark. and no, they did not score 15 goals. they scored three and earned five points each. and we watched it in a drizzle which got unbearable for me. and soon, my bag made standing unbearable for me. and keefe loke comes out with slippers that squeaked veri loudly while i was watching the match take place on the oh-so-muddy field. and ying han, one of my new classmates for this year, was busy hugging the opponents' legs. and chan tong was being his normal self: angry. and i went home with june, no i mean, zune.
okae, i shall talk about today.
how "fun" can this day get?
i come to skool only to get outwalk by a lot of pple whom couldnt have done so if i wasnt limping from the ache in my legs. den when i was walking up the ramp from the canteen to the concourse, which was in a direction against the flow of students, i saw chris, den pushpinder, den ying han. i smiled at all three of them and only push smiled.. ying han just wears that sheepish grin like he always does. chris looks over my head and never saw me.
den for econs, i had the most memorable lesson where i copied down almost all the notes which the teacher flashed cos i was lazy to carry the book around. no, i wasnt being punished. but it's bcos i know i will be dozing off if i didnt distract my mind, just like shandy. and i pride in myself for having written once again, a set of NEAT notes.
den for physics, i sat at the table opposite pushpinder's such that we face each other. it's like i spend one and a half agonizing hours of writing on a vibrating table. it was either push was shaking his leg under his table, or that he was vigorously rubbing his eraser on his tutorial. and i kinda didnt dare to tell him to stop shaking. and i wonder why i didnt dare. and he was busy being stung by the abrasion on his shoulder he suffered most probably from rugby. so i decided to let the poor guy take a break and oso train myself to write neatly and remain non-irritated by a vibrating table. and yea, i managed to do so.
den there was maths remedial. interesting lesson we had. gained a lot of enlightenment during the one hour. den i went for cca. but there was one hour before cca started, so i wandered around, looking for familiar faces. kinda lonely. den i saw peng yan [muahaha, the karaoke-cum-pw-got-only-a-grade-2 guy] and a group of s12 guys. i have seen the s12 pple from morning till evening from monday to friday. and somehow, i never get sick of seeing them. why? cos WEILING is in the class!! haha..
den cca started. had to present a book with a partner to the whole group of j1s and j2s. and i only read the book one hour before cca started. and the presentation was alrite. everybody couldnt find the energy to respond much cos it was oredi five pm. even i, the presenter was gonna die from fatigue.
went home alone. along with my dear wuny.
who's wuny?
it's my mp3 player. gave it a name. dun ask me why it's called wuny. i just tot of it.
wuny wuny wuny makes my world go round ~
16 April 2006
STILL HE WALKED
He could hear the hatred in their voices,
These were His chosen people.
He loved them, And they were going to crucify Him.
He was beaten, bleeding and weakened...
His heart was broken,
But still He walked.
He could see the crowd as He came from the palace.
He knew each of the faces so well.
He had created them.
He knew every smile, laugh, and shed tear,
but now they were contorted with rage and anger...
His heart broken,
But still He walked.
Was He scared?
You and I would have been.
So His humanness would have mandated that He was.
He felt alone.
His disciples had left, denied, and even betrayed Him.
He searched the crowd for a loving face and He saw very few.
Then He turned His eyes to the only one that mattered
And He knew that He would never be alone.
He looked back at the crowd, at the people who were spitting
At Him, throwing rocks at Him and mocking Him and He knew
That because of Him, they would never be alone.
So for them, He walked.
The sounds of the hammer striking the spikes echoed through
The crowd. The sounds of His cries echoed even louder,
The cheers of the crowd, as His hands and feet
Were nailed to the cross, intensified with each blow.
Loudest of all was the still small voice inside His Heart
that whispered "I am with you, my son",
And God's heart broke.
He had let His son walk.
Jesus could have asked God to end His suffering,
But instead He asked God to forgive.
Not to forgive Him,
but to forgive the ones who were persecuting Him.
As He hung on that cross, dying an unimaginable death,
He looked out and saw, not only the faces in the crowd,
But also, the face of every person yet to be,
And His heart filled with love.
As His body was dying, His heart was alive.
Alive with the limitless, unconditional love He feels for each of us.
That is why He walked.
When I forget how much
My God loves me, I remember His walk.
When I wonder if I can be forgiven,
I remember His walk.
When I need reminded of how to live like Christ,
I think of His walk.
And to show Him how much I love Him,
I wake up each morning, turn my eyes to Him,
And I walk.
-- Author Unknown
The above story was submitted by an AllWorship.com listener.
He could hear the hatred in their voices,
These were His chosen people.
He loved them, And they were going to crucify Him.
He was beaten, bleeding and weakened...
His heart was broken,
But still He walked.
He could see the crowd as He came from the palace.
He knew each of the faces so well.
He had created them.
He knew every smile, laugh, and shed tear,
but now they were contorted with rage and anger...
His heart broken,
But still He walked.
Was He scared?
You and I would have been.
So His humanness would have mandated that He was.
He felt alone.
His disciples had left, denied, and even betrayed Him.
He searched the crowd for a loving face and He saw very few.
Then He turned His eyes to the only one that mattered
And He knew that He would never be alone.
He looked back at the crowd, at the people who were spitting
At Him, throwing rocks at Him and mocking Him and He knew
That because of Him, they would never be alone.
So for them, He walked.
The sounds of the hammer striking the spikes echoed through
The crowd. The sounds of His cries echoed even louder,
The cheers of the crowd, as His hands and feet
Were nailed to the cross, intensified with each blow.
Loudest of all was the still small voice inside His Heart
that whispered "I am with you, my son",
And God's heart broke.
He had let His son walk.
Jesus could have asked God to end His suffering,
But instead He asked God to forgive.
Not to forgive Him,
but to forgive the ones who were persecuting Him.
As He hung on that cross, dying an unimaginable death,
He looked out and saw, not only the faces in the crowd,
But also, the face of every person yet to be,
And His heart filled with love.
As His body was dying, His heart was alive.
Alive with the limitless, unconditional love He feels for each of us.
That is why He walked.
When I forget how much
My God loves me, I remember His walk.
When I wonder if I can be forgiven,
I remember His walk.
When I need reminded of how to live like Christ,
I think of His walk.
And to show Him how much I love Him,
I wake up each morning, turn my eyes to Him,
And I walk.
-- Author Unknown
The above story was submitted by an AllWorship.com listener.
The Great Pretender
Lyrics: Buck Ram
Music: Buck Ram
Oh yes, Im the great pretender
Pretending that Im doing well
My need is such I pretend too much
Im lonely but no one can tell
Oh yes, Im the great pretender
Adrift in a world of my own
I play the game but to my real shame
You left me to dream all alone
Too real is this feeling of make believe
Too real when I feel when my heart cant conceive
Oh, yes, Im the great pretender
Just laughing and gay like a clown
I seem to be what Im not, you see
Im wearing my heart like a crown
Pretending that youre still around
Too real is this feeling of make believe
Too real when I feel when my heart cant conceive
Oh, yes, Im the great pretender
Just laughing and gay like a clown
I seem to be what Im not, you see
Im wearing my heart like a crown
Pretending that youre still around
Recordings
8 Oct 1973 That High Lonesome Sound (Old And In The Way)
Lyrics: Buck Ram
Music: Buck Ram
Oh yes, Im the great pretender
Pretending that Im doing well
My need is such I pretend too much
Im lonely but no one can tell
Oh yes, Im the great pretender
Adrift in a world of my own
I play the game but to my real shame
You left me to dream all alone
Too real is this feeling of make believe
Too real when I feel when my heart cant conceive
Oh, yes, Im the great pretender
Just laughing and gay like a clown
I seem to be what Im not, you see
Im wearing my heart like a crown
Pretending that youre still around
Too real is this feeling of make believe
Too real when I feel when my heart cant conceive
Oh, yes, Im the great pretender
Just laughing and gay like a clown
I seem to be what Im not, you see
Im wearing my heart like a crown
Pretending that youre still around
Recordings
8 Oct 1973 That High Lonesome Sound (Old And In The Way)
ahhhh~
i finally remember wad i wanna blog.
i wanna say that........ my pw got 2!! as in, i scored a band 2 for my projectwork A level paper. which i can say as moderate. heck, soooooooooo many pple got the same mark as me lor, how to become outstanding with such non-outstanding results!?
haiz, the presentation still makes me feel kinda angry with myself. i screwed up that part la~ was practically trembling and stuttering and stammering with all my "erm", "ah", "..."
and muahaha, i recall the moment when the peng yan from s12 practically acted out a play for his part in the oral presentation. his outstretched arms, dramatic gestures, expressive voice, etc, only earned him a 2. wonder wad about his group members who kinda fared no better than him in the OP. to think he actually fell asleep when my group was doing the presentation in the same room lor! budden i didnt notice, i think sheryl noticed only.. was busy being absolutely nervous and my eyes only had space for the invilgilators. budden there's another group whose group leader is so kind lor, he was listening attentively to our presentation throughout even though the topic is kinda boring..
i finally remember wad i wanna blog.
i wanna say that........ my pw got 2!! as in, i scored a band 2 for my projectwork A level paper. which i can say as moderate. heck, soooooooooo many pple got the same mark as me lor, how to become outstanding with such non-outstanding results!?
haiz, the presentation still makes me feel kinda angry with myself. i screwed up that part la~ was practically trembling and stuttering and stammering with all my "erm", "ah", "..."
and muahaha, i recall the moment when the peng yan from s12 practically acted out a play for his part in the oral presentation. his outstretched arms, dramatic gestures, expressive voice, etc, only earned him a 2. wonder wad about his group members who kinda fared no better than him in the OP. to think he actually fell asleep when my group was doing the presentation in the same room lor! budden i didnt notice, i think sheryl noticed only.. was busy being absolutely nervous and my eyes only had space for the invilgilators. budden there's another group whose group leader is so kind lor, he was listening attentively to our presentation throughout even though the topic is kinda boring..
15 April 2006
hmm.. i've been thinking just now. and now, i just wanna tell somebody this.
to the one whom i have known as my best fren since primary three:
it's been many years since we've actually chatted face-to-face.. so it's kind awkward to me.. you may have noticed that i have became introverted. ah, im getting out of point.
wad i wanna say is, no matter whether you have been visiting my blog to check up on my emotional world or not, i want you to know something. maybe we could have something going on that time. maybe. remember charmaine? you once told me that she taught you how to complement one colour with another colour, make better colour combinations.. at that time, i felt somewhat upset. and some to think of it, i wonder why i felt that way. i could have continued the conversation by asking you how she taught you, but i didnt. i just felt bitter and kept quiet. haha, wad's that abt eh? actually, i dunno.
and recently, i kept thinking wad could have happened to us if we didnt break contact in sec skool.. and i kept asking, how did we actually stop meeting each other in the mornings before skool with all the 6F peeps? it's like gradually, there was a barrier which separated us. could it be bcos we went to different courses? so wad if you went to normal while i went to express? cant be rite? or was it that you got sick of me?
in primary skool, kevin ban once told me that there were times when you wished that i will just leave you alone. man, i felt sad at that time. but i didnt show it. i told kevin not to lie. and i wondered, why would he cook up such a story?
den i remembered the times when we would always go to the area below your house to look for stray cats and go to the neighourhood pet shop which was once broken into.. i remember clearly that once, a cat had given birth to quite a handful of kittens which all had stomachs which were bloated like balloons.. and we teased the poor mother cat such that when one is luring her out of their "nest", the other will carry out one kitten.. den we will watch with fascination in how she dutifully bites that kitten at the loose skin at the back of the neck and place it safely into the nest. and the whole process repeats itself. it was until the mother cat vomitted. den we stopped playing. a few days later, the family disappeared.
i remember when we would catch crickets, spiders, at the grass patch beside the covered play area.. i remember kicking the grass to get the insects moving..
i remember you waving me goodbye excitedly when i was waiting for the bus at the bus stop at your area and you were at your doorstep where you could see me clearly from the ledge.. we just kept waving until you finally went into the house..
i oso remember the times when i would bring lots of copies of Streats from the clementi interchange to skool and pass it to our ex-classmates, including you.. it was at that time, when we slowly led different lives.. we slowly became pen pals with lorraine as messenger.. and occasionally, you would buy me food such as curry puffs and lollipops and that sour, chewy, long piece of sweet.. den i will return the offer by buying you lollipops.. and with lorraine always being the middleman, delivering the food and letters.. and once i even decorated your combined humanities file cover after you saw how i decorated lorraine's file.. and that i will try my veri best to kept your letters so that i can always reread them when i feel like it..
okae, i like to keep any letter that is posted to me.
thank you for all the encouragement even though you were also in difficult times. thank you for the pleasant memories you have given me in primary skool which i can never forget.
thank you for being my fren. i never regretted making frens with you.
and i hope you never regretted being my fren.
sincerely from,
eunice
to the one whom i have known as my best fren since primary three:
it's been many years since we've actually chatted face-to-face.. so it's kind awkward to me.. you may have noticed that i have became introverted. ah, im getting out of point.
wad i wanna say is, no matter whether you have been visiting my blog to check up on my emotional world or not, i want you to know something. maybe we could have something going on that time. maybe. remember charmaine? you once told me that she taught you how to complement one colour with another colour, make better colour combinations.. at that time, i felt somewhat upset. and some to think of it, i wonder why i felt that way. i could have continued the conversation by asking you how she taught you, but i didnt. i just felt bitter and kept quiet. haha, wad's that abt eh? actually, i dunno.
and recently, i kept thinking wad could have happened to us if we didnt break contact in sec skool.. and i kept asking, how did we actually stop meeting each other in the mornings before skool with all the 6F peeps? it's like gradually, there was a barrier which separated us. could it be bcos we went to different courses? so wad if you went to normal while i went to express? cant be rite? or was it that you got sick of me?
in primary skool, kevin ban once told me that there were times when you wished that i will just leave you alone. man, i felt sad at that time. but i didnt show it. i told kevin not to lie. and i wondered, why would he cook up such a story?
den i remembered the times when we would always go to the area below your house to look for stray cats and go to the neighourhood pet shop which was once broken into.. i remember clearly that once, a cat had given birth to quite a handful of kittens which all had stomachs which were bloated like balloons.. and we teased the poor mother cat such that when one is luring her out of their "nest", the other will carry out one kitten.. den we will watch with fascination in how she dutifully bites that kitten at the loose skin at the back of the neck and place it safely into the nest. and the whole process repeats itself. it was until the mother cat vomitted. den we stopped playing. a few days later, the family disappeared.
i remember when we would catch crickets, spiders, at the grass patch beside the covered play area.. i remember kicking the grass to get the insects moving..
i remember you waving me goodbye excitedly when i was waiting for the bus at the bus stop at your area and you were at your doorstep where you could see me clearly from the ledge.. we just kept waving until you finally went into the house..
i oso remember the times when i would bring lots of copies of Streats from the clementi interchange to skool and pass it to our ex-classmates, including you.. it was at that time, when we slowly led different lives.. we slowly became pen pals with lorraine as messenger.. and occasionally, you would buy me food such as curry puffs and lollipops and that sour, chewy, long piece of sweet.. den i will return the offer by buying you lollipops.. and with lorraine always being the middleman, delivering the food and letters.. and once i even decorated your combined humanities file cover after you saw how i decorated lorraine's file.. and that i will try my veri best to kept your letters so that i can always reread them when i feel like it..
okae, i like to keep any letter that is posted to me.
thank you for all the encouragement even though you were also in difficult times. thank you for the pleasant memories you have given me in primary skool which i can never forget.
thank you for being my fren. i never regretted making frens with you.
and i hope you never regretted being my fren.
sincerely from,
eunice
14 April 2006
just read david's blog entry..
well, he sounded rather upset about backsliding in his grades.. and yar, it's only after mr ling mentioned that my class, unlike other classes, has two maths teachers instead of one, when i finally realised that it's bcos of our poor performance that we need extra guidance.. but hey, having two teachers are really good! if we have questions and one teacher is busy answering another classmate's questions, we have another teacher to fall back on.
and yea, we're the poorest performing class. and i wonder why. really. the gals are hardworking, okae, some are hardworking. i dun dare to say that i am hardworking [haha, david some more call me to not be so pia].. can it be the boys who need bucking up? haiz, still, EVERYBODY in 05s13 has to BUCK UP! we have the most chances to get our much-deserved BEST IMRPROVEMENT AWARD!!! we have the greatest potential!!
okae, i'll get back to my books. tata.
well, he sounded rather upset about backsliding in his grades.. and yar, it's only after mr ling mentioned that my class, unlike other classes, has two maths teachers instead of one, when i finally realised that it's bcos of our poor performance that we need extra guidance.. but hey, having two teachers are really good! if we have questions and one teacher is busy answering another classmate's questions, we have another teacher to fall back on.
and yea, we're the poorest performing class. and i wonder why. really. the gals are hardworking, okae, some are hardworking. i dun dare to say that i am hardworking [haha, david some more call me to not be so pia].. can it be the boys who need bucking up? haiz, still, EVERYBODY in 05s13 has to BUCK UP! we have the most chances to get our much-deserved BEST IMRPROVEMENT AWARD!!! we have the greatest potential!!
okae, i'll get back to my books. tata.
http://www.lovehkfilm.com/panasia/swing_girls.htm
SWING GIRLS!!!
actually, im kinda lag. this show was produced in the year 2004. now then i managed to watch it. but hey, i watch it on tv and i finally got to watch another production of the director of the film, Water Boys!! i love Water Boys! now there's Swing Girls! wonder if there will be any shows about Men and Women. like, Stupid Men, Crazy Woman. haha...
another two movie reviews of this show are
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0435434/
http://chiairis.multiply.com/reviews/item/21
aiyar, all in all the comments for this show is that it is almost as great as Water Boys! soooooo cute!!
SWING GIRLS!!!
actually, im kinda lag. this show was produced in the year 2004. now then i managed to watch it. but hey, i watch it on tv and i finally got to watch another production of the director of the film, Water Boys!! i love Water Boys! now there's Swing Girls! wonder if there will be any shows about Men and Women. like, Stupid Men, Crazy Woman. haha...
another two movie reviews of this show are
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0435434/
http://chiairis.multiply.com/reviews/item/21
aiyar, all in all the comments for this show is that it is almost as great as Water Boys! soooooo cute!!
"Never Had A Dream Come True"
-s club 7-
Everybody's got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go
I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you
Somewhere in my memory
I've lost all sense of time
and tomorrow can never be cos yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it should be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go
I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be
You'll always be the dream that fills my head
Yes you will, say you will, you know you will
Oh baby, you'll always be the one I know I'll never forget
There's no use looking back or wondering
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try I just can't say goodbye
No no no no
I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say (words to say)
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be
A part of me will always be with you
-s club 7-
Everybody's got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go
I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you
Somewhere in my memory
I've lost all sense of time
and tomorrow can never be cos yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it should be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go
I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be
You'll always be the dream that fills my head
Yes you will, say you will, you know you will
Oh baby, you'll always be the one I know I'll never forget
There's no use looking back or wondering
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try I just can't say goodbye
No no no no
I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say (words to say)
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be
A part of me will always be with you
I'll Stand By You
-girls aloud-
Oh, Why You Look So Sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
So if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'cause even if you're wrong
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in,
into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
And when...
When the night falls on you, baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in,
into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
----------------------------------------------------------------
L.O.V.E
L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one i see
V is very very extraordinary
E is even more than any one that you adore and,
LOVE, is all that i can give to you
LOVE, is more than just a game for two,
two in love can make it
take my heart and please dont break it
LOVE was made for me and you...
L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore and
Love is all that I can give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart and please don't break it
Love was made for me and you
Love was made for me and you
Love was made for me and you
-girls aloud-
Oh, Why You Look So Sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
So if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'cause even if you're wrong
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in,
into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
And when...
When the night falls on you, baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in,
into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
----------------------------------------------------------------
L.O.V.E
L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one i see
V is very very extraordinary
E is even more than any one that you adore and,
LOVE, is all that i can give to you
LOVE, is more than just a game for two,
two in love can make it
take my heart and please dont break it
LOVE was made for me and you...
L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore and
Love is all that I can give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart and please don't break it
Love was made for me and you
Love was made for me and you
Love was made for me and you
13 April 2006
http://www.ediets.com/news/article.cfm/1/cmi_1970702/cid_3/code_28233/
great reference for slimmer thighers and better butt. and the exercise it suggests really puts a strain to the thigh muscles and butt muscles! try it!
i seem to be the one needing it more, eh?
great reference for slimmer thighers and better butt. and the exercise it suggests really puts a strain to the thigh muscles and butt muscles! try it!
i seem to be the one needing it more, eh?
11 April 2006
| ying hsu fang eunice -- [noun]: An immortal 'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com |
ying hsu fang eunice Pills: Will cause an increase of craziness | ||
| 'What" effect do you have on people?' at QuizGalaxy.com | ||
| Martyr Death | |
| How will it happen? | You will be possessed by the devil and die as he makes you head turn around in circles. |
| http://www.quizgalaxy.com/quiz.php?id=103"> | |
yea. im developing thigh muscles. actually, just one thigh muscle. can only see it protruding out from my right thigh when sitting down. left side not veri significant. so happy. yea.
okae, im not happy. having the blues again. argh. hate fretting over tuition. just hate it.
and here's an article i just found. may help in guiding me abt getting over my crush.
---------------------------------------------------
okae, im not happy. having the blues again. argh. hate fretting over tuition. just hate it.
and here's an article i just found. may help in guiding me abt getting over my crush.
---------------------------------------------------
Goodbye For Good
By Jennifer Drapkin
Special to eDiets
Your boyfriend breaks up with you, leaving you with a broken heart and a drawer full of boxers. You find his socks under your bed and his shaving kit in the bathroom.
What should you do with his things? The instinct is to hold onto them. But here’s the truth: The sooner you let go of his stuff, the sooner you will let go of him.
According to a recent study from the University of Arizona, the less contact you have with your ex, the faster you’ll heal. To help you get there, let’s look at a few ways to dispose of his stuff and dispose of him.
Burning your ex's things would be a little extreme. (Yes, we know about all the toxic fumes he releases into the air when he breathes. And yes, he never said don’t douse my clothes with lighter fluid and ignite them with a tiki torch.)
Though it’s a time-honored tradition dating back at least to the fireplace scene in Jane Austin's Emma, we can't advocate using your ex's clothes as kindling. Just know that it's normal to be furious.
The same University of Arizona study found that after a breakup, as time passes, we feel more angry and less sad. Still, you should find safer ways to vent your anger.
A better solution may be philanthropy. You may feel as though nothing good will come out of the relationship, but donating his personal items to charity and helping other people will lift you. It’s called the helper's high; the more you can get outside of yourself and reach out to others, the more meaningful and satisfying life can be. Anyway, making a trip to the local Salvation Army is humane, legal and a tax write-off.
Then again, you might just want to mail his things to him. This option is so sensible it hurts. In fact, putting a former lover's possessions into a box and taping it shut feels a lot like nailing down a coffin.
You'll cry all the way to the post office. But really, there's no greater satisfaction than knowing that you behaved like an adult. Chances are he'll be a little taken aback by your civility, and he'll have a bad day.
The important thing: Move on and start over with a life uncluttered by your ex. It's time to make room for another man's boxers.
Jennifer Drapkin is an intern at Psychology Today.
so don't say that wad the writer had said is groundless.
10 April 2006
today ran 3.2km, did forty crunches, twenty-two push-ups, did thirty slow-squats, etc etc.
now, i feel extremely dead beat. but i shall not tell myself that i am TIRED. telling yourself that you are tired makes you more tired. you start to develop a fever bcos of this mentality and you fall ill. it's research done by some scientists few years ago. im speaking the truth!
aiyar, this has been an exhausting day. couldnt keep my eyes open for the whole time.
hmmmmmmmm........................ i think i better go.
now, i feel extremely dead beat. but i shall not tell myself that i am TIRED. telling yourself that you are tired makes you more tired. you start to develop a fever bcos of this mentality and you fall ill. it's research done by some scientists few years ago. im speaking the truth!
aiyar, this has been an exhausting day. couldnt keep my eyes open for the whole time.
hmmmmmmmm........................ i think i better go.
09 April 2006
THAT'S WHAT I GO TO SCHOOL FOR
-Busted-
Her voice is echoed in my mind,
I count the days til she is mine,
Can’t tell my friends coz they will laugh,
I love a member of the staff.
I fight my way to front of class
to get the best view of her ass,
I drop a pencil on the floor,
she bends down and shows me more.
That’s what I go to school for,
even though it is a real bore,
You can call me crazy,
I know that she craves me.
That’s what I go to school for,
even though it is a real bore,
Girlfriends, I’ve had plenty,
none like Miss Mackenzie.
That’s what I go to school for,
that’s what I go to school for.
So she may be thirty-three,
but that doesn’t bother me,
Her boyfriend's working out of town,
I find a reason to go round.
I climb a tree outside her home
to make sure she is all alone,
I see her in her underwear,
I can’t help but stop and stare.
Chorus
Everyone that you teach all day
knows your looking at me in a different way,
I guess that's why my marks are getting so high.
I can see those tell tale signs
telling me that I was on your mind,
I could see that you want it
more when you told me that,
I’m what you go to school for,
I’m what you go to school for.
She’s packed her bag,
it's in the trunk,
looks like she’s picked herself a hunk,
We drive past school to say goodbye,
my friends they can’t believe their eyes.
Chorus
That's what I go to school for.
-Busted-
Her voice is echoed in my mind,
I count the days til she is mine,
Can’t tell my friends coz they will laugh,
I love a member of the staff.
I fight my way to front of class
to get the best view of her ass,
I drop a pencil on the floor,
she bends down and shows me more.
That’s what I go to school for,
even though it is a real bore,
You can call me crazy,
I know that she craves me.
That’s what I go to school for,
even though it is a real bore,
Girlfriends, I’ve had plenty,
none like Miss Mackenzie.
That’s what I go to school for,
that’s what I go to school for.
So she may be thirty-three,
but that doesn’t bother me,
Her boyfriend's working out of town,
I find a reason to go round.
I climb a tree outside her home
to make sure she is all alone,
I see her in her underwear,
I can’t help but stop and stare.
Chorus
Everyone that you teach all day
knows your looking at me in a different way,
I guess that's why my marks are getting so high.
I can see those tell tale signs
telling me that I was on your mind,
I could see that you want it
more when you told me that,
I’m what you go to school for,
I’m what you go to school for.
She’s packed her bag,
it's in the trunk,
looks like she’s picked herself a hunk,
We drive past school to say goodbye,
my friends they can’t believe their eyes.
Chorus
That's what I go to school for.
i saw him again today.
he still looks the same, like a cute tomato [cos once he feels agitated/excited/hot, his face goes as red as a tomato], and he wore the all-too-familiar navy blue polo t.
this time, i got kinda like a close-up of his family. only saw his wife during the service, otherwise, she's practically disappeared as he carried the little bundle of joy. the boy is practically lovable, he was making whiny noises throughout the time he was in church again.. maybe he dun like the place.. haha. but he's cute.. like a lil maggot, white and wriggly when in the sanctuary.
and he's always proudly carrying his boy-boy when walking around the members..
his boy had the same hair style as him. spike-up. haha.. so cute! realised that im starting to pay lots of attention to babies. i wanna hold a baby! just throw me a baby and i will be happy.
at one point of time, he saw me looking. maybe. but after that, he walked past me. i thoroughly avoided physical contact with him. his arm almost brush past me again. the arm carrying his lil boy.
and during the whole time when he was around, i was almost on the verge of fainting. no, not bcos of him. i was dehydrated and famished and was standing for a looooong time such that i feel my legs going jelly [for the first time] and my knees kept giving way and he was standing just behind me. was feeling kinda giddy too..
and the food the church pple prepared made me nauseous. the smell of fried bee hoon and fishballs made me felt like retching. my stomach literally clenched as i inhaled the smell of fried bee hoon.. didnt even have the energy to be engaging with the peeps there, could only smile and nod and occasionally talk and shake hands, etc.. and yar, couldnt strike up a conversation cos i was kinda shy and they were just immersed in their own talking.. hehe~ and i slowly realised that in my own Connexions group, i was the only gal who attended today's service.. clarice and lorraine werent around. and there were oredi abraham, kenneth, jerryson, ashley, jun ming, daniel, etc.. veri lil gals around. and jun ming wasnt with me for the whole service cos he had to sit in front to do his testimony.. so i was veri veri veri quiet. and yar, no energy to tok oso.
went home with jun ming after the much-anticipated lunch. we talked quite a lot, but not enough to kinda break down the barrier between us. the few years in secondary skool where we had led separate lives caused some awkwardness. at least, i felt awkward. he was still jovial, easily excited and we're still strong lovers of strays. just now, we heard a short bark from nowhere and it seems that only the two of us, out of the huge group, perked up. but he did that vocally, i did that mentally. he immediately said,"eh, where's the dog? i heard the dog!" while i was just looking around frantically.. haha..
and i realised that, i missed elin greatly. during service, suddenly i tot," if elin suddenly appeared from behind me, i will cry and hug her as tight as i can." i WILL cry. and i WILL hug. cos i just miss her so much. i mss lydia A LOT too... i oso miss lee peng. i missed our shortie group. i just miss them so much such that my heart literally aches for them. and i wonder if they miss me too.. ah, now i feel suffocated by all my emotions. great.
he still looks the same, like a cute tomato [cos once he feels agitated/excited/hot, his face goes as red as a tomato], and he wore the all-too-familiar navy blue polo t.
this time, i got kinda like a close-up of his family. only saw his wife during the service, otherwise, she's practically disappeared as he carried the little bundle of joy. the boy is practically lovable, he was making whiny noises throughout the time he was in church again.. maybe he dun like the place.. haha. but he's cute.. like a lil maggot, white and wriggly when in the sanctuary.
and he's always proudly carrying his boy-boy when walking around the members..
his boy had the same hair style as him. spike-up. haha.. so cute! realised that im starting to pay lots of attention to babies. i wanna hold a baby! just throw me a baby and i will be happy.
at one point of time, he saw me looking. maybe. but after that, he walked past me. i thoroughly avoided physical contact with him. his arm almost brush past me again. the arm carrying his lil boy.
and during the whole time when he was around, i was almost on the verge of fainting. no, not bcos of him. i was dehydrated and famished and was standing for a looooong time such that i feel my legs going jelly [for the first time] and my knees kept giving way and he was standing just behind me. was feeling kinda giddy too..
and the food the church pple prepared made me nauseous. the smell of fried bee hoon and fishballs made me felt like retching. my stomach literally clenched as i inhaled the smell of fried bee hoon.. didnt even have the energy to be engaging with the peeps there, could only smile and nod and occasionally talk and shake hands, etc.. and yar, couldnt strike up a conversation cos i was kinda shy and they were just immersed in their own talking.. hehe~ and i slowly realised that in my own Connexions group, i was the only gal who attended today's service.. clarice and lorraine werent around. and there were oredi abraham, kenneth, jerryson, ashley, jun ming, daniel, etc.. veri lil gals around. and jun ming wasnt with me for the whole service cos he had to sit in front to do his testimony.. so i was veri veri veri quiet. and yar, no energy to tok oso.
went home with jun ming after the much-anticipated lunch. we talked quite a lot, but not enough to kinda break down the barrier between us. the few years in secondary skool where we had led separate lives caused some awkwardness. at least, i felt awkward. he was still jovial, easily excited and we're still strong lovers of strays. just now, we heard a short bark from nowhere and it seems that only the two of us, out of the huge group, perked up. but he did that vocally, i did that mentally. he immediately said,"eh, where's the dog? i heard the dog!" while i was just looking around frantically.. haha..
and i realised that, i missed elin greatly. during service, suddenly i tot," if elin suddenly appeared from behind me, i will cry and hug her as tight as i can." i WILL cry. and i WILL hug. cos i just miss her so much. i mss lydia A LOT too... i oso miss lee peng. i missed our shortie group. i just miss them so much such that my heart literally aches for them. and i wonder if they miss me too.. ah, now i feel suffocated by all my emotions. great.
08 April 2006
if I kissed you
-corrine may-
If i kissed you
Would fireworks fly
Would angels sing with lollipops
Would dinosaurs cry
Would babies all gurgle in laughter and surprise
If i kissed you
If i kissed you
What would michelangelo say
Would he still have sculpted David
Would we be immortalised in clay
Would the poets write of love like ours
Would John Donne have his say
If i kissed you
You could be one in a million
You could be the one for me
But i guess i'll never know if i never try
I guess I'll just have to grab you in my arms
and kiss you
If i kissed you
Would you lose track of time
Would you feel a surge of happiness
Running up your spine
Would you run naked in the street
with a tattoo of my name on your behind
If i kissed you
oh,
If i kissed you
yeah, if i kissed you
-corrine may-
If i kissed you
Would fireworks fly
Would angels sing with lollipops
Would dinosaurs cry
Would babies all gurgle in laughter and surprise
If i kissed you
If i kissed you
What would michelangelo say
Would he still have sculpted David
Would we be immortalised in clay
Would the poets write of love like ours
Would John Donne have his say
If i kissed you
You could be one in a million
You could be the one for me
But i guess i'll never know if i never try
I guess I'll just have to grab you in my arms
and kiss you
If i kissed you
Would you lose track of time
Would you feel a surge of happiness
Running up your spine
Would you run naked in the street
with a tattoo of my name on your behind
If i kissed you
oh,
If i kissed you
yeah, if i kissed you
Angel in Disguise
I woke up this morning feeling kind of blue
and i stumbled out of bed and
dragged my feet across the room
Right outside my front door was a rose
and a note that said 'Somebody loves you'
But out on the street it starts to pour
and before i get soaking wet,
A total stranger runs to give me
the jacket off his back
I turn around to thank him
But he waves me with a smile
I can hardly believe my eyes
He puts on a halo and starts to fly
Take a look at the ordinary
Dont need to look at paradise
You could be next to an angel in disguise
I met a good friend for lunch
and we had a delicious meal
But i forgot to bring my wallet
I felt like an imbecile
But she was sweet, she gave me a treat and
Bought me a chicken sandwich
To take home for tea
But out of the street with nothing to eat
A man and his shopping cart go
Travelling to places
Collecting social graces
I give him my sandwich
and we chatter for a while
I see a rainbow wash over his eyes
He gives me his halo and
I start to fly
Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for paradise
You could be next to an angel in disguise
Don't try to hide away from me
I know you're by my side
Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for Paradise
You could be next to an angel in disguise
Everyday can be legendary
Every minute, an endless surprise
You could be next to an angel in disguise
I woke up this morning
Feeling kind of new.
I woke up this morning feeling kind of blue
and i stumbled out of bed and
dragged my feet across the room
Right outside my front door was a rose
and a note that said 'Somebody loves you'
But out on the street it starts to pour
and before i get soaking wet,
A total stranger runs to give me
the jacket off his back
I turn around to thank him
But he waves me with a smile
I can hardly believe my eyes
He puts on a halo and starts to fly
Take a look at the ordinary
Dont need to look at paradise
You could be next to an angel in disguise
I met a good friend for lunch
and we had a delicious meal
But i forgot to bring my wallet
I felt like an imbecile
But she was sweet, she gave me a treat and
Bought me a chicken sandwich
To take home for tea
But out of the street with nothing to eat
A man and his shopping cart go
Travelling to places
Collecting social graces
I give him my sandwich
and we chatter for a while
I see a rainbow wash over his eyes
He gives me his halo and
I start to fly
Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for paradise
You could be next to an angel in disguise
Don't try to hide away from me
I know you're by my side
Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for Paradise
You could be next to an angel in disguise
Everyday can be legendary
Every minute, an endless surprise
You could be next to an angel in disguise
I woke up this morning
Feeling kind of new.
yum yum. judith mcnaught's latest book: Every Breath You Take.
Unforgettable characters, sizzling romance, and riveting suspense: These are the trademarks of beloved author Judith McNaught. With millions of devoted fans and ten New York Times bestsellers to date, McNaught is a writer whose work just gets better with each new novel–and Every Breath You Take is the book readers have been waiting for. Returning to the lavish Chicago setting of her popular novel Paradise, and revisiting some of that book’s characters as well, this story will captivate in inimitable Judith McNaught style.
High atop a snow-covered hill, the stately old Wyatt mansion is perched like a crown, its stone spires pointing upward, its stained glass windows glowing like colorful jewels. Such opulence means success and, surely, happiness. But on the eve of wealthy philanthropist Cecil Wyatt’s eightieth birthday, all the money in the world won’t bring back his missing grandson, William Wyatt. The only thing for certain: Foul play was involved.
The family, the police, the media–all have tried in vain to discover the young man’s fate. Now suspicion has turned shockingly toward William’s own half-brother, the rather distant and enigmatic Mitchell Wyatt.
Kate Donovan never dreamed that a chance romantic encounter on a tropical island paradise would tag her as a suspect in a high-society murder case. But after Kate tangles with the darkly charismatic Mitchell Wyatt, she finds herself cast in a shadow of guilt and mistrust. As the Chicago police tighten their net, it will take all of Kate’s ingenuity to clear her name. With her calm, cool wit, and the help of a man who may or may not be a dangerous catch, Kate vows to claim the life and love she desires.
Unforgettable characters, sizzling romance, and riveting suspense: These are the trademarks of beloved author Judith McNaught. With millions of devoted fans and ten New York Times bestsellers to date, McNaught is a writer whose work just gets better with each new novel–and Every Breath You Take is the book readers have been waiting for. Returning to the lavish Chicago setting of her popular novel Paradise, and revisiting some of that book’s characters as well, this story will captivate in inimitable Judith McNaught style.
High atop a snow-covered hill, the stately old Wyatt mansion is perched like a crown, its stone spires pointing upward, its stained glass windows glowing like colorful jewels. Such opulence means success and, surely, happiness. But on the eve of wealthy philanthropist Cecil Wyatt’s eightieth birthday, all the money in the world won’t bring back his missing grandson, William Wyatt. The only thing for certain: Foul play was involved.
The family, the police, the media–all have tried in vain to discover the young man’s fate. Now suspicion has turned shockingly toward William’s own half-brother, the rather distant and enigmatic Mitchell Wyatt.
Kate Donovan never dreamed that a chance romantic encounter on a tropical island paradise would tag her as a suspect in a high-society murder case. But after Kate tangles with the darkly charismatic Mitchell Wyatt, she finds herself cast in a shadow of guilt and mistrust. As the Chicago police tighten their net, it will take all of Kate’s ingenuity to clear her name. With her calm, cool wit, and the help of a man who may or may not be a dangerous catch, Kate vows to claim the life and love she desires.
07 April 2006
The man walks, and then stops at the entrance of the school.
A boy is standing near the gates, his fingers pinching his ears.
When the boy sees the man, he lowers his eyebrows and glares at the man.
The man wants to smile at the boy. He wishes to be the boy.
Just a few days ago, he had been sued by a stranger in a pub. He had punched the stranger in the face when the stranger teased about his weird dressing. The man was sentenced to a year in jail.
The man says nothing.
If only he is the boy. Then he can do anything that he likes without a tingle of worry. The school and law will protect the underage.
The boy wants to smile at the man. He wishes to be the man.
A few hours ago, the boy had punched a friend in the nose. The friend’s nose bleed and the boy were asked to stand near the gates for two hours as punishment.
The boy frowns.
If only he is the man. Then he can do anything he likes without any teacher’s intervention.
The man walks off, shaking his head. Freedom comes with a price, he thinks.
The boy bows his head. He will do anything for freedom.
A boy is standing near the gates, his fingers pinching his ears.
When the boy sees the man, he lowers his eyebrows and glares at the man.
The man wants to smile at the boy. He wishes to be the boy.
Just a few days ago, he had been sued by a stranger in a pub. He had punched the stranger in the face when the stranger teased about his weird dressing. The man was sentenced to a year in jail.
The man says nothing.
If only he is the boy. Then he can do anything that he likes without a tingle of worry. The school and law will protect the underage.
The boy wants to smile at the man. He wishes to be the man.
A few hours ago, the boy had punched a friend in the nose. The friend’s nose bleed and the boy were asked to stand near the gates for two hours as punishment.
The boy frowns.
If only he is the man. Then he can do anything he likes without any teacher’s intervention.
The man walks off, shaking his head. Freedom comes with a price, he thinks.
The boy bows his head. He will do anything for freedom.
----adapted from http://www.goodybooks.com/youarehere.htm----
heyhey! im back again.
actually, have you ever tot that i was once suicidal?
actually, i had. but i never dared to even inflict pain on myself. i have two fears: pain, and death.
you may think, hey, wad's with being afraid of death, it comes anyway. but have you tot, wad you could have done with your extra minutes in life? you'll be able to spend more time with your loved ones, etc. i cant bear to leave them rite now. maybe next time..
ever since sec2, i suffered from depression. kinda easy to kana when you're called a 'fat bitch' by the whole population of boys in class, including some gals. you can think, ignore them lor. but the problem is, i tot i could. in the end, i snapped and burst into tears in class. and wad worsened it is that no one bothered to ask wad happened. for the subsequent months, my so-called best fren, JASMINE YIP [that ugly bitch], stabbed me from the back. she STABBED me. we severed ties. entirely. should have called for a celebration instead of seeking to reconcile that time. argh.
okae, so i was all alone as i struggled with depression. so maybe you're asking, wad abt your family? you really wanna know??
my father was never there. my mother never bothered, neither did she noticed my condition. my siblings, either busy studying university or busy working. they never had time for me. kinda. and i never sought to get help. i never wanted to appear weak. i never wanted show my vulnerability for fear of being more hurt. i dun wanna expose my hurt.
so according to the speaker today who talked abt understanding depression, i turned my anger inward. i became angry with myself and the whole world and never let anybody know. okae, not the whole world, there was my ex-crush who looked almost like an angel among the demons, always preaching His words, counselling students who need helps, etc. but i never dared to approach him. at that time, i had a phobia of being close to guys. ah guas, sissies, gays, i can accept cos i treat them as women. but i know that when i suffered from depression, i did hurt alot of frens, including chun kuan. i gotta say, "im sorry, " to all those whom i have hurt knowingly and unknowingly. i need you peeps to know that i love you still.
so at that time, i was almost withdrawn within myself. i couldnt find much reasons to sustain my life. so maybe that's why i binged. got so damn fat and got MORE depressed.
up till now, im still on the way to recovery. that doesnt mean that i am no longer depressed. after the talk this afternoon, i became withdrawn. kept to myself, didnt bother to chat. didnt bother to ask for help when i couldnt solve questions. blasted my mp3 into my ears to block out the noise. after that, i came out of my shell for a breather, and never bothered to go back inside le. haha.
den at home, my mother was busy picking my faults, as usual. and i flared up. went to my room to slam some books, kicked my bedpost a few times, cried for quite a while. i realised, a long time ago, whenever i got angry, my voice becomes shaky and i start crying. fortunately, i know that i have to stop crying. otherwise, i can cry a river.
now, im blogging in order to get some of my burden off my chest. there are many other things which have upsetted me but i cant bother to tok abt them cos im kinda tired.
tired of living. tired of following God. tired of existing.
actually, have you ever tot that i was once suicidal?
actually, i had. but i never dared to even inflict pain on myself. i have two fears: pain, and death.
you may think, hey, wad's with being afraid of death, it comes anyway. but have you tot, wad you could have done with your extra minutes in life? you'll be able to spend more time with your loved ones, etc. i cant bear to leave them rite now. maybe next time..
ever since sec2, i suffered from depression. kinda easy to kana when you're called a 'fat bitch' by the whole population of boys in class, including some gals. you can think, ignore them lor. but the problem is, i tot i could. in the end, i snapped and burst into tears in class. and wad worsened it is that no one bothered to ask wad happened. for the subsequent months, my so-called best fren, JASMINE YIP [that ugly bitch], stabbed me from the back. she STABBED me. we severed ties. entirely. should have called for a celebration instead of seeking to reconcile that time. argh.
okae, so i was all alone as i struggled with depression. so maybe you're asking, wad abt your family? you really wanna know??
my father was never there. my mother never bothered, neither did she noticed my condition. my siblings, either busy studying university or busy working. they never had time for me. kinda. and i never sought to get help. i never wanted to appear weak. i never wanted show my vulnerability for fear of being more hurt. i dun wanna expose my hurt.
so according to the speaker today who talked abt understanding depression, i turned my anger inward. i became angry with myself and the whole world and never let anybody know. okae, not the whole world, there was my ex-crush who looked almost like an angel among the demons, always preaching His words, counselling students who need helps, etc. but i never dared to approach him. at that time, i had a phobia of being close to guys. ah guas, sissies, gays, i can accept cos i treat them as women. but i know that when i suffered from depression, i did hurt alot of frens, including chun kuan. i gotta say, "im sorry, " to all those whom i have hurt knowingly and unknowingly. i need you peeps to know that i love you still.
so at that time, i was almost withdrawn within myself. i couldnt find much reasons to sustain my life. so maybe that's why i binged. got so damn fat and got MORE depressed.
up till now, im still on the way to recovery. that doesnt mean that i am no longer depressed. after the talk this afternoon, i became withdrawn. kept to myself, didnt bother to chat. didnt bother to ask for help when i couldnt solve questions. blasted my mp3 into my ears to block out the noise. after that, i came out of my shell for a breather, and never bothered to go back inside le. haha.
den at home, my mother was busy picking my faults, as usual. and i flared up. went to my room to slam some books, kicked my bedpost a few times, cried for quite a while. i realised, a long time ago, whenever i got angry, my voice becomes shaky and i start crying. fortunately, i know that i have to stop crying. otherwise, i can cry a river.
now, im blogging in order to get some of my burden off my chest. there are many other things which have upsetted me but i cant bother to tok abt them cos im kinda tired.
tired of living. tired of following God. tired of existing.
06 April 2006
hey!
so long i no blog properly..
so i shall blog abt today. one of the many rainy days in april. MANY rainy days in april.
okae, first thing in the morning, i bought teh tarik and seaweed chicken [yum yum] to fill my stomach in order to get myself out of starvation mode. den oso got help shaoqin buy seaweed chicken.. after that, i kept taking shoots of my lil breakfast until to my satisfaction.. haha.. shaoqin can vouch for me abt my fussiness.. haha..
den skool started, we went for maths and suddenly, my timetable for wednesday got longer by an hour. haiz. but nvm, it's for my benefit. throw long line to catch big fish.
den gp, copied down alot of essay notes. and all those normal stuff..
den got physics practical. ahhhh... yinghan was singing pop songs, david was singing children songs. ahhhhhhhhhh.... physics lesson never get as fun as their singing. just like a min karaoke session for the guys. den just nice sheryl not around, so david kinda sung more [otherwise, both of them will compete in creating some 'sound']
den econs, ah, i dun like this particular lesson. s13 lost face. in front of 2 other classes. and to my horror, someone i know [from another class] was laughing as mdm berated my class. was mentally throwing daggers at her. wanna know her name? silei.
den after skool, went to canteen to eat a proper meal. den june went to join the guys cos they borrowed her book and she couldnt abandon it. den shaoqin and me went to the library to do the econs hmk that mdm khoo threw at us during the lesson and was expecting us to hand it in by tmw. studied until 5.30pm.. so it's around 2 hours.. less than that by a few minutes..
went to the canteen to meet up with june who was chatting with daren and zhixiang abt zhixiang's gf. she's only sec 2 this year leh!! haha.. and yup, there's the parental objection. so they're dating secretly.. can only meet up on wednesdays, after skool.. sad rite? can only meet once a week..
den we went home; june, zhixiang and i.. and yes, my handphone toy looks soooooooo much like him.
so long i no blog properly..
so i shall blog abt today. one of the many rainy days in april. MANY rainy days in april.
okae, first thing in the morning, i bought teh tarik and seaweed chicken [yum yum] to fill my stomach in order to get myself out of starvation mode. den oso got help shaoqin buy seaweed chicken.. after that, i kept taking shoots of my lil breakfast until to my satisfaction.. haha.. shaoqin can vouch for me abt my fussiness.. haha..
den skool started, we went for maths and suddenly, my timetable for wednesday got longer by an hour. haiz. but nvm, it's for my benefit. throw long line to catch big fish.
den gp, copied down alot of essay notes. and all those normal stuff..
den got physics practical. ahhhh... yinghan was singing pop songs, david was singing children songs. ahhhhhhhhhh.... physics lesson never get as fun as their singing. just like a min karaoke session for the guys. den just nice sheryl not around, so david kinda sung more [otherwise, both of them will compete in creating some 'sound']
den econs, ah, i dun like this particular lesson. s13 lost face. in front of 2 other classes. and to my horror, someone i know [from another class] was laughing as mdm berated my class. was mentally throwing daggers at her. wanna know her name? silei.
den after skool, went to canteen to eat a proper meal. den june went to join the guys cos they borrowed her book and she couldnt abandon it. den shaoqin and me went to the library to do the econs hmk that mdm khoo threw at us during the lesson and was expecting us to hand it in by tmw. studied until 5.30pm.. so it's around 2 hours.. less than that by a few minutes..
went to the canteen to meet up with june who was chatting with daren and zhixiang abt zhixiang's gf. she's only sec 2 this year leh!! haha.. and yup, there's the parental objection. so they're dating secretly.. can only meet up on wednesdays, after skool.. sad rite? can only meet once a week..
den we went home; june, zhixiang and i.. and yes, my handphone toy looks soooooooo much like him.
05 April 2006
only heaven knows
-rick price-
she's always on my mind,
from the time i wake up
'till i close my eyes
she's everywhere i go
she's all i know
though she's so far away
it's just keeps getting stronger
every day
and even now she's gone
i'm still holding on
so tell me where do i start
'cause it's breaking my heart
don't wanna let her go
chorus:
maybe my love will come back some day
only heaven knows
and maybe our hearts will find their way
only heaven knows
and all i can do is hope and pray'
cause heaven knows
my friends keep telling me
that if you really love her
you've gotta set her free
and if she returns in kind
i'll know she's mine
so tell me where do i start
'cause it's breaking my heart
don't wanna let her go
chorus
why i live in despair'
cause wide awake or dreaming
i know she's never there
and all these time i act so brave
i'm shaking inside
why does it hurt me so...
chorus
heaven knows
heaven knows
-rick price-
she's always on my mind,
from the time i wake up
'till i close my eyes
she's everywhere i go
she's all i know
though she's so far away
it's just keeps getting stronger
every day
and even now she's gone
i'm still holding on
so tell me where do i start
'cause it's breaking my heart
don't wanna let her go
chorus:
maybe my love will come back some day
only heaven knows
and maybe our hearts will find their way
only heaven knows
and all i can do is hope and pray'
cause heaven knows
my friends keep telling me
that if you really love her
you've gotta set her free
and if she returns in kind
i'll know she's mine
so tell me where do i start
'cause it's breaking my heart
don't wanna let her go
chorus
why i live in despair'
cause wide awake or dreaming
i know she's never there
and all these time i act so brave
i'm shaking inside
why does it hurt me so...
chorus
heaven knows
heaven knows
04 April 2006
02 April 2006
sometimes, i can get really selfish.
i'd rather be the one dying early if it means that i have to watch my loved ones die before me.
i'd rather cause them pain of losing me den suffer the ache of losing my loved ones.
i'd rather have their hearts broken over seeing me suffer den having my heart broken while watching them wringe in pain.
i will never want someone i treasure to slip right past my nose. [okae, im short. so you better be a dwarf.]
sometimes, i only think of myself.
sometimes, i get tired of putting others front.
sometimes, i get tired of being pushed around.
sometimes, i get tired of life.
maybe rite now, i am tired of life. it's up to you to guess whether im saying the truth or not.
i'd rather be the one dying early if it means that i have to watch my loved ones die before me.
i'd rather cause them pain of losing me den suffer the ache of losing my loved ones.
i'd rather have their hearts broken over seeing me suffer den having my heart broken while watching them wringe in pain.
i will never want someone i treasure to slip right past my nose. [okae, im short. so you better be a dwarf.]
sometimes, i only think of myself.
sometimes, i get tired of putting others front.
sometimes, i get tired of being pushed around.
sometimes, i get tired of life.
maybe rite now, i am tired of life. it's up to you to guess whether im saying the truth or not.
i miss him a lot. everywhere i go, i think of him. everything i look at reminds me of him. but the problem is, who is he?
i know im missing someone. loving someone. looking for that someone.
but who is that someone i seem to have been waiting for all my life?
is he God?
is he that childhood fren of mine?
is he my present crush?
is he my ex-crush?
is he the guy i never dared to make frens with?
is he that guy whom i have shared dark secrets with?
who is that someone? who is the one whom i want to be close to? who is the one who can make my judgement falter? who is the one who can send me melting with a smile? who makes me feel like i have ran 2.4km when i am simply standing there looking into his eyes? who can catch me crying at one moment and then make me laugh and gag at his jokes the next? who can soothe my nerves with a touch? who can stop my tears? who can nurse my broken heart, carry it in his two hands carefully and will never drop it on the floor?
i know im missing someone. loving someone. looking for that someone.
but who is that someone i seem to have been waiting for all my life?
is he God?
is he that childhood fren of mine?
is he my present crush?
is he my ex-crush?
is he the guy i never dared to make frens with?
is he that guy whom i have shared dark secrets with?
who is that someone? who is the one whom i want to be close to? who is the one who can make my judgement falter? who is the one who can send me melting with a smile? who makes me feel like i have ran 2.4km when i am simply standing there looking into his eyes? who can catch me crying at one moment and then make me laugh and gag at his jokes the next? who can soothe my nerves with a touch? who can stop my tears? who can nurse my broken heart, carry it in his two hands carefully and will never drop it on the floor?
01 April 2006
Colourblind
by Darius Danesh
Feeling blue
When I'm trying to forget the feeling
That I miss you
Feeling green
When the jealousy swells and it won't
Go away in dreams
Feeling yellow
I'm confused inside a little hazy but mellow
When I feel your eyes on me
Feeling fine, sublime
When that smile of yours
Creeps into my mind
ohhhh.....
Nobody told me it feels so good
Nobody said you'd be so beautiful
Nobody warned me about your smile
You're the light
You're the light
When I close my eyes
I'm colourblind
You make me colourblind
Feeling red
When you spend all your time with your friends
And not me instead
Feeling black
When I think about all of the things that
I feel I lack
Feeling jaded
When it's not gone right
All the colours have faded
Then I feel your eyes on me
Feeling fine, sublime
When that smile of yours
Creeps into my mind
mmmm....
Nobody told me it feels so good
Nobody said you'd be so beautiful
Nobody warned me about your smile
You're the light
You're the light
When I close my eyes
I'm colourblind
You make me colourblind
Blinded by the light you shine
The colours fade completely
Blinded by you everytime
I feel your smile defeat me
I'm colourblind
I just can't deny this feeling
Nobody told me it feels so good
Nobody said you'd be so beautiful
Nobody warned me about your smile
You're the light
You're the light
When I close my eyes
I'm colourblind
Nobody told me it feels so good
Nobody said you'd be so beautiful
Nobody warned me about your smile
You're the light
You're the light
When I close my eyes
I'm colourblind
(you're the light, you're the light
when i close my eyes)
You make me colourblind
(you're the light, you're the light
when i close my eyes)
you make me colorblind
(you're the light, you're the light
when i close my eyes
i'm colorblind)
(fading)
nobody told me it feels so good..
by Darius Danesh
Feeling blue
When I'm trying to forget the feeling
That I miss you
Feeling green
When the jealousy swells and it won't
Go away in dreams
Feeling yellow
I'm confused inside a little hazy but mellow
When I feel your eyes on me
Feeling fine, sublime
When that smile of yours
Creeps into my mind
ohhhh.....
Nobody told me it feels so good
Nobody said you'd be so beautiful
Nobody warned me about your smile
You're the light
You're the light
When I close my eyes
I'm colourblind
You make me colourblind
Feeling red
When you spend all your time with your friends
And not me instead
Feeling black
When I think about all of the things that
I feel I lack
Feeling jaded
When it's not gone right
All the colours have faded
Then I feel your eyes on me
Feeling fine, sublime
When that smile of yours
Creeps into my mind
mmmm....
Nobody told me it feels so good
Nobody said you'd be so beautiful
Nobody warned me about your smile
You're the light
You're the light
When I close my eyes
I'm colourblind
You make me colourblind
Blinded by the light you shine
The colours fade completely
Blinded by you everytime
I feel your smile defeat me
I'm colourblind
I just can't deny this feeling
Nobody told me it feels so good
Nobody said you'd be so beautiful
Nobody warned me about your smile
You're the light
You're the light
When I close my eyes
I'm colourblind
Nobody told me it feels so good
Nobody said you'd be so beautiful
Nobody warned me about your smile
You're the light
You're the light
When I close my eyes
I'm colourblind
(you're the light, you're the light
when i close my eyes)
You make me colourblind
(you're the light, you're the light
when i close my eyes)
you make me colorblind
(you're the light, you're the light
when i close my eyes
i'm colorblind)
(fading)
nobody told me it feels so good..
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)