heyhey, wah.... today shiok ar.. slept at around 1.30 am last night... den i woke up almost twelve hours later.. never slept that long before.. and i had two dreams, i think.. i remember vaguely that my first dream was about me visiting pple.. that first dream is kinda the part II of a previous dream.. the previous dream had a house on the verge of collapsing.. so now, when i go back, it's all renovated and the owner of the house was so happy that he was whistling.. besides that, i cant really remember wad happened in the first dream.. the second dream was more clear and distinct.. i went back to my tuition centre.. guess i missed it so much that i went back to it in my dreams.. hahax.. okae, when i got back, my mouth remained agape for a couple of seconds.. cos it looked so much brighter and cosier.. they repainted the walls, together with some cute patterns.. and the tables are no longer in the dull white colour.. some tables were painted yellow, orange.. everybody looked quite happy.. my amaths tutor, alvin, had helped out in the painting.. aiyar, he's kinda the handyman in the tuition centre, since he's the only guy amongst the staff.. haha.. kana bullied.. he got complain to my class before.. everybody really looked happy, but alvin wasnt really notice that im there.. so i mumbled to myself that he's ignoring me.. somehow, he heard my mummerings clearly and didnt hear my conversations with his boss.. so he kinda apologised to me and all those..
okae, enough abt dreams..
everyday, ever since valentine's day, i've been thinking of darren, only abt darren.. yar, there mr wee, but he's fading.. and i feel so confused now.. i dunnoe wad is happening to me, why i have so many questions regarding darren unanswered, i dunnoe why i have the urge to always go online to tok to darren, and elin hasnt been online for quite a while, so i have two urges to go online.. and yesterday, i did tok to darren, he wasnt angry with me.. come to think of it, im over-reacting.. hahax.. and when he went for his dinner [at the time i havent even had my lunch], we said " i love you" to each other.. i guess he was joking.. but me, i dunnoe whether im joking or for real.. but i was more like joking at that time.. only after he left then i started thinking.. aiyar, im just thinking too much lar hor? just that he's the first guy to actually tok to me so much abt things that im so afraid of discussing with my other frens, so i just have odd feelings. that's all , i hope.
maybe i know my feelings for him, but i wanna be sure, and that im afraid that wad i think im feeling is real.. im vexed..
how? you ever experienced this before? you ever felt your heart at your throat and that your stomach seems to be churning when you tok to a guy, and that you seem to have limited vocabulary when you tok to him, like usually you have a steady flow of vocab, budden suddenly they just dun come out when you tok to him? i have that feelings for two guys oredi.. mr wee [in real person, face-to-face] and darren [the online darren].. im shameless.. haiz.. that's eunice in affairs of the heart..
and if i ever feel such odd feelings for a gal, shoot me with a gun.. i dun wanna be a lesbian..
