my head hurts.. it hurts so much.. so does my heart.. i dunnoe why it hurts.. but i know why i feel so sad.. i cant find any other words to describe my feelings, so i can only describe my unhappiness as "sad"..
mr wee's no longer in fairfield.
he's transferred to HQ.. he will no longer be teaching, no longer be preaching in fairfield, no longer be attending exco meetings, department meetings, staff contact, morning assembly.. [phew, lucky me]
suddenly i feel disconnected from fairfield. my wires have been dislodged from their cables.. the background of fairfield deleted away from my mind. fairfield is no longer the skool i love, no longer my second home, no longer my shelter.. it's nothing to me from now on..
his departure from fairfield finally got me out of the mess of fairfield.. suddenly i am no longer looking back at memories in skool [excluding memories of him], suddenly i dun dread leaving fairfield..
suddenly, i've let go..
now, i'm happy, for two reasons..
at least, we've spent our last year in fairfield together, left together.. at least i dun have to bear the pain of not being able to see him in skool while im in skool..
at least, he's disconnected me from fairfield.
secondly, i've finally typed out wad has been bothering me, cos i cant find anybody to cry out to anymore..
all these, account to my first step of learning how to let go.
