ah... i took me quite a while to even sign in to blogger.. why? bcos of that stupid earthquake in taiwan... grrrr.......... why why why!? liddat i cannot watch youtube happily, load things load so slow... find extra jobs liddat even slower la.

btw, today was my first day of my working life. first thing in the morning, my heels played me out and PEELED. within 2 min of walking and den 10 of chasing after the bus, it peeled like nobody's business.. den when i took the bus, i missed my stop and had to walk back to the factory.. i think i walked like 1km.. on heels.... sian sian.

luckily, a gal was also like me, first day of work for her today as well.. den we did a lot of waiting for the our admin stuff to settle and for us to get our worker pass, locker key, and UNIFORM. omg, uniform.... the uniform is sooo grey.. but luckily no need to wear skirt, can wear pants in the cold cold office.. hehe..

my first task was faxing.. i never faxed before.. but i faxed anyway, den had to call those companies to ask if they received their fax.... den after that i did some filing.. actually, veri little filing.. but i did quite an amount of tallying data and learning stuff abt the system.. wow, im working for panasonic.... haha..

den i went to do my ism test.. it's information security.. they're veri uptight abt such things... wad do you expect from a jap company which distributes uniform and has morning assembly every morning? haha.. thank goodness there's no morning exercise.. or else i sian.

den when i came home, i realised that i have blistering at my small toe, for the first time, at both balls of my feet and at my heel... gonna throw that pair of heels away. lucky can wear sneakers..

anyway, last night's class dinner was short to me.. spent around 2 hours with the class onli, mainly at the mrt station where we waited for each other for around an hour, and at pepper lunch where we had our dinner.. den i went home, dun wanna wake up late for work the next day..

hai, now my eyes cant open.. but it's still early......... dammit.

is it self-deception? having a religion, that is.

it was last year when i went gogogaga over being a christian.. including a small part of this year.. i stopped going bonkers over it amost the moment i stepped into church..

i "converted" in 2003, on my 15th birthday.. for fun. stupid eh? from then on, i told myself, im a christian! but i wasnt BEING one.. i was corrupted from head to toe and my bible was almost always by my side, but it was left unread and unreflected unless during morning devotions and chapel services in sec skool.

in 2005, i missed going for chapel, i missed singing chapel songs.. i loved those songs.. i used to sing them till i cried.

[but wont you feel released and having a burden lifted off your chest when singing your all? somehow, i felt the opposite.. there will always be this weight in my heart and i cant breathe bcos of it whenever i sang till i cried. and i took it as me being so overwhelmed by this love that i couldnt breathe.. den i realised that whenever i was upset, and cried, this weight appears as well. do you get wad i mean? this weight is not bcos of happiness, it's sadness. ]

so in 2005, i decided to be a full-fledged "christian". i bought those praise and worship cds, all those stuff which i dun even wanna mention. den by the middle of this year, my passion died down again, to my anticipated horror.

now, come to think of it, i had never been a christian.

i havent been baptised.
i decided to be a christian bcos i wanted to find a link btn me and my sec skool crush, [despite us having quite a number of links which i had dug out.]
i went to church bcos one of my closest frens asked me to.
i decided to stop bcos i wanted freedom, not restriction. i didnt and i dun want to be bound by rules.

i damned myself.

veri inspirational.. kinda woke me up.. and im still looking for the reason why i wake up each day.

today is a day filled with activities.. yesterday as well..

yesterday, i went to enrol for driving lessons.. under command of my mama.. sian.. den i paid $200 firsthand.. den i booked and cancelled, booked and cancelled until i cannot cancel anymore bookings.. sian... and on my way home, i stupidly walked into a trap. it rained yesterday, so many grass areas were muddy and when i was there, the mud was drying up but not really dried up.. den i kuku-ly walked onto the mud, slipped and landed on my butt. sian..... my poor skirt looked muddy... so i went to a coffee shop and tried to clean off some mud, but no use.. den i went home, avoiding my mama cos she dun like clumsy pple.. den i rushed to the toilet and washed the skirt with a lot of water.. hehe..

today, around 3 calls from both adecco and recruit express reached me.. the first was from adecco whether im interested in a job, so i said okae.. den they applied for me.. den recruit express called me and told me that the job i applied yesterday was mine to take.. so i happily took it.. then the third call was from adecco, the job i just applied this morning was oso mine to take... den i sian....... i waited for around 2 weeks with no job and suddenly in a day, i have 2 jobs to accept.. and both offering the same salary.. den since i said yes to recruit express and im gonna meet them at 4.30 later to sign the agreement for me to accept this job, i rejected adecco... the gal on the phone sounded so nice.. so i felt kinda guilty... hehe... and the guy from recruit express is a cutie, so good~~ and he's onli a few years older than us.. so cool rite? later gonna meet him for the second time! yea!

and anyway, i just came back from cutting my hair... now it looks neater.. yea! paid $12, so it was fine... even though $2 more ex den that stupid QBhouse, but it was definitely worth it!!! stuuuuuuuuuuupid QBhouse. grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

i NEED to get out of this house. i need to get our of hearing range of her. all she does around me is grumble, criticise and condemn. everything i do is not to her satisfaction. given this rate, i am gonna stay out of the house for 24 hours and more oredi.

she threatens, never asked. she didnt ASK. she COMMAND. she hates me. she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me.

and i wanna hate her back. but i cant. i just hate the way she treats me.

I HATE IT.

okae, i have regenerated enough from class chalet. man, it sucked the life out of me for quite a while..

first day, which is a monday, i woke up reluctantly at 10.45 am.. den i left my house at 12pm to meet those staying over at the chalet at je mrt platform at 12.30. the meeting up itself was tedious, so i dun wanna tok much abt it.

den we played games in the dirty chalet that we were given. eerie. haha..
den we rented bicycles to go for night riding later that night.. and since i couldnt ride a bicycle, i asked amelia to ride me :] weird to ask a guy rite? felt kinda guilty cos i was hindering amelia in gaining speed [i did step the pedal! but somehow, i think i pedaled too hard, the pedal spoilt halfway.]

den we had dinner at bk.

den we played more games.

den we went night cycling.

lemme list wad happened.
1. daren's bicycle chain snapped and cut his ankle. deep gash..... so i didnt dare to look, kinda scared of blood.

2. my bicycle's chain loosened, so i couldnt pedal.. left amelia to pedal all the way.. thank god when that happened, there were no more uphills, we were at crossroad, beside the changi airport runway.. after that when we went back, alvin offered to ride me.. so kind rite?? THANKS AMELIA AND ALVIN!

3. at changi there, chris and juntat were racing jialing in the double bike [kinda silly] and the bike broke down. no fixing can save it.. den jun tat got injured at his knee, chris got injured at his toe..

4. due to that breakdown, we got stuck there for around an hour just to get a kind truck driver and his fren to send the bike and the two guys back to chalet, after i think ten or more trucks refused assistance..

5. on the way back, my double bike, which carried quite a number of handphones and danny's specs, kinda BUMPED and some stuff flew out.. it was dark that time.. so kinda hard to see.. aiyar, this part oso veri tedious, i dun wanna tok.

6. when we returned the bikes finally, we had to pay $80 for that old, broken bike, which was so not worth it.

second day, almost everybody who went for night cycling was dead tired.. but poor alvin still had to go work after sleeping for onli 15 to 30 min.. den i onli managed to sleep for 1.5 hours for that time..

den we went to bath, sleep, rent bbq pit, buy stuff, start the fire, bbq-ed the food, den we start playing games and drunk whiskey at first den pure vodka.. both were 40% alcohol.. i dun like the taste one bit. eeyuck.. so when i had to drink, i asked for it to mix with coke.. still tasted the same to me.. drink until i FINALLY become seh... from the fatigue and alcohol.. so i went to sleep for around 3.5 hours after chantong left while those still high from the games went on to play some more games and bought some beer.. den i woke up, washed up and we went to check out..

den on the train back, we half slept, half talked.. chris puked quite a number of times.. den we arranged to watch eragon and eat dinner after we went home to catch some sleep.. so we did that.. but poor me, i onli managed to sleep for less than an hour despite having ample time to sleep much more..

anyway, eragon is NICE........... veri real.. the dragon, cute when it just hatched, beautiful when grown.. one dying scene of an ex-rider made me cry..

watch eragon, pple!

i just thought of a story.

"Once upon a time, there lived a princess who hated life so much that she cried every night despite having everything she wanted. It was because she had not found what she needed.

However, every time she cried, someone’s heart breaks. That someone, is the prince of another castle. Thus he spent many sleepless nights, writhing from this unknown pain which was unwittingly unleashed by this clueless princess.

And everyday at the same time, both stared out of their windows, looking at the sky and wondering, 'Who am I waiting for?'

They had been waiting for each other."