last thu, met Marc and his ex-gf Ivy!! not the first time that i've met her, and she has this great personality :D veri frenly and veri fun-loving :D

the two of them have known each other since he was 19 and serving the navy.. she was one of the officers - totally cool!!

she's literally the opposite of me - skinny, short hair and all those..

anyway, there were a couple of moments when marc and i would look at each other and burst out laughing bcos of her. why?

incident 1: once she was asking marc a question "are you sure they wont wheel clamp my car?"

but both of us heard nth but gibberish... so we looked at her with question marks and asked her to repeat herself.. and she did this amazing thing. she made amusing hand gestures as if she's communicating with the deaf and dumb while repeating her words slowly... all three of us laughed our heads off!!

incident 2: she was complaining about something that had been occurring these days... so she was talking and talking and the onli word i really heard was "nowsaday"

then marc and i looked at each other. cos just a few days ago, he was commenting about how singaporeans would say "nowsaday" instead of the correct "nowadays"...... and then we laughed a bit...... and ivy asked "huh wad happened??"

and we let her know the reason why we sniggered :D

and yes, marc has proven his point. there ARE singaporeans who say "nowsaday". FINE.

****

been having nightmares which revolve around marc though. it's so scary. it's always about him abandoning me!! but there was one dream where we went for a cruise together, happily :)

****

AND SAM CHATTED WITH ME AGAIN!! LAST NITE!! HE INITIATED THE CONVERSATION! but he just bitched abt classmates of mine and those la..... nth much. more like, i dun wanna rmb wad we chatted abt :D

i think i better give him a "name" over here..

let's call him Marc.

he's been real nice to me. not all the time la.... he will give me a good dressing down when i do deserve it.. but he's rather obliging, with a good temper. he's never really blown his top (until recently when i did smth he didnt like)

he does get pissed, but it'll bcos of work.. and he'll curse a lil.. and you dun really wanna be near him when he's getting pissed. he becomes a different person. different from the cheerful, encouraging, smiling Marc.

but i love every single side of him. he can dig his nose, pick his teeth, fart, burp. btw his fart really stinks.

and whenever he smiles, from the bottom of his heart, that smile is always so captivating. even his eyes smile.

and he's not only a lover. he's a teacher, a companion, a good fren. he shares his experiences and knowledge, lets me know wad lies beneath, tells me wad i should do under social situations, encourages me to be who i really am, and he is never shallow.

once, he sung a couple of songs which he learnt from Barney - the children's show, to me and he did it brilliantly! it was almost as if he was lulling me to sleep :D well i almost did fall asleep.

and now i have this one wish. one veri strong wish. that he'd be able to celebrate my bday with me. i dun need extrvagance. if we could go to an ulu place like jurong hill, or some place overlooking a nice night scenery, sit down together and have him sing a soft "happy birthday" song to me as i make my bday wish and blow off the flame. i'd be extremely contented and happy - cos he's celebrating my bday with me.

every moment spent with him is precious to me. cos of his commitments and workload, he wont be there 24/7. and everytime he comes out with me, he's sacrificing at least one commitment. and that he would have to make compensations after that. that's why i treasure the time spent with him. and i make it a point that he is able to fully enjoy and relax when he is with me.

but apparently, i failed to do so when i brought him for that dinner. that upset me a lot.

i dun want to be his burden, neither do i want to weigh him down. but in the process, my burdens never left my shoulders. and dammit my neck is aching like HELL. haha.... i need a real good and strong neck massage.

so now, my one and onli wish: to quietly celebrate my bday with him (and of course with my close frens la, but separately la)

Macy Gray - I Try

Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I belive that fate has brought us here
And we should be together babe
But we're not
I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you
And I'll try to keep my cool, but I'm feenin'

I try to say goodbye and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not here
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not here

I may appear to be free
But I'm just a prisoner of your love
And I may seem all right and smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front
Just a front, hey
I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you
And I'll try to keep my cool, but I'm feenin'

I try to say goodbye and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not here
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not here

Here is my confession
May I be your possession
Boy, I need your touch
Your love, kisses and such
With all my might I try
But this I can't deny
Deny

I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you
(but I'm dreaming of you babe)
And I'll keep my cool, but I'm feenin'

I try to say goodbye and I choke (yeah)
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
(when you are not near aahh)
Goodbye and I choke (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I try to walk away and I stumble (hey, hey, hey)
Though I try to hide it, it's clear (say it Lord)
My world crumbles when you are not here

Goodbye and I choke (I'm choking)
I try to walk away and I stumbe
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
(when you are not near, yeah, yeah yeah)
Yeah, yeah..

i dunno why.

but im starting to feel tired.

the tears are starting to well up in my eyes and yet i dunno why they're there.

i dunno why i feel so drained.

i dunno why i feel like i could give up the world to have some peace.

some peace away from life, from him, from everybody.

i just wanna be with myself.

i need some quietness.

and im gg to lose my grandmother. and all i can feel is that distant feeling that i AM losing a relative and yet im onli feeling guilty that im not getting upset enough.

i feel like i've lost my purpose in life.

and i wonder why and how i actually feel this way.

being online last nite was amazing :D

chatted with uncle sam again!! haha, no la.. it's my econs lecturer, sam lee. apparently he has a lot of frustration within him when it comes to my class :D so the cheena auntie in our class failed her test paper (the one which i got HD) and accused him of being prejudiced against her, hence giving her the failing grade.

but the problem was, he wasnt the one who awarded the marks! it was bruce himself! wahahahahahahahahahahahaha~

and so i told him that i got 17/20 - literally shouted the news to him online..

sam comes online.
me: "hey!! i got 17!!"
him: "wow"

haha :D and he was saying that it wasnt so bad, now that he knows that there are "FUNNY" students like me around... im like gg, "funny in a gd way or bad way?"

and he was asking me which jc i came from and that i was smart (bcos i got a mere 17/20).. then chat chat chat, wah got super out of point. and suddenly we diverted rite into work - TWO-PART TARIFF. wahhhhh, i got super blur la.. think he explained until cannot tahan oso :)

chunk fest rocked.

as in, it ROCKED.

the sun sucked. but the pple there totally made it feel insignificant. the heat was killing me, but i didnt regret gg down AT ALL!

most of the bands kinda lacked lustre... one of them was a lil........naggy? it was a duo and one of them kept talking and talking and talking in his monotonous voice.......one of the audience said, "ya ya shuddup and sing la"

but their songs were okae... has a rhythm and the words are identifiable.

another band was a mediocre imitation of linkin park. the ahmad version, i shall say.. but they totally sucked at doing their job. yea they were rapping but it was like..........nonsensical babbling. another guy was literally tone-deaf and he couldnt sing at all!! i felt so tortured, my brain shutted off those "noise" and i switched attention here and there. so when they finished their stint, i didnt even realise it!!

and the supposedly last band which was to close the whole event, they totally rocked!! and they were old!! haha :D but the songs rocked, the singers rocked and the weather was a lot better by than :D CANT WAIT FOR THE BAKERLOO LINE TO RELEASE THEIR ALBUM!! but now they're at a standstill bcos of work and the chunk fest itself....... so it'll take a loooooong time :(

might be gg to port dickson at the end of this year.. for a wedding event :D with HIM. so exciting!! hope that i CAN go~

and for today.................went to orchard plaza and explored the bars and pubs there!! blue bananas was the first one......all the filipino maids in singapore were squeezed in there sia!!!! so the two of us were like, super surprised with our mouths left agape. and the pple there were quite wild! and pushy as well.

next was the queens.. a lot better :D still dominated by pinoys, but better quality la.. no maids :D and there were the bartop dancers who were HOT. as in damnnnnnned hot. the legs were beautiful and muscular. didnt really care abt the upper part of the body cos they were too high up :D

third one we were to was called "naughty girls" BUT IT TOTALLY SUCKED. the so-called pole dancers looked like shit compared to Queens. wad's with dancing such provocative stuff in t-shirt and ill-fitting jeans, and acting sexy when you're totally not! and they totally dunno how to DANCE!! but somehow, there were more angmos there :( and quite a number of cute hunks :D

fourth one....forgot the name. but customers there were like.....you could count with your two hands and there's still spare fingers la... gals not that awesome as Queens, but a lot better than NG!!

see!? even the name of THAT bar can be interpreted as Not Good.

after that we went back to queens :D but i was feeling sleepy and yawned into his face! woops. so we were to grab a bite at a thai restaurant....food is alrite, but the table of pple in front of mine, totally didnt know wad was courtesy. dun wanna talk abt it, veri tired :D

then he dropped me off at csc, and waited for me to say hi to the pple there and all those... he waited for almost an hour la!!! so apologetic :(

after that we went to somewhere nearby :D

after that he dropped me at my car park... but i didnt want to go!! so i dilly dally-ed :D haha.... but in the end, i still got off la :D with a balloon i "stole" from the bday dinner!! haha... it's floating at my bedroom's ceiling rite now :D

yesterday (gave tuition to 3 kids, from 9.30am to 2pm without rest, den travelled down to marina barrage) and today, totally sapped my energy.

im dead and gone.

yeah, the test one results for price theory are finally out.

we took it like.....2 mths ago? so every month i would turn to ching and ask, are the results out yet? and she would say NO.

couldnt take it anymore. checked the sim portal. double checked. triple checked. still no results, no nth.

den talked to sam lee, he himself was surprised that the results werent out yet.

desperate, i emailed the programme coordinator - kailing.. well she replied that the results HAD oredi been posted. but it obviously WAS NOT.

so i acted blur and asked, i think i've been looking at the wrong place - can i know where to check the results?

half an hour later, the results got posted onto the sim portal.

SEE?! apparently they forgot to post, thinking that they had done so!!

#$%$^@#$@#$

and i look at the results. i banged the table and went "KNS!! how can i have this kind of grade?!"

17/20

i totally hate the number 17.

it's a farking low High Distinction la.

den i told him that the results were out and he asked "so you got your distinction?" i replied, "yea, a low High Distinction"

den he countered, "why? is there high High Distinction or low High Distinction on your cert? wad's with the low/high thing??"

it's a HD. but not HD "enough" la...... where did the 3 marks go to!? i seriously wanna take a look at my paper. i was super confident that i would get full marks la!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

so i msg-ed the gals, results are out - im damned disappointed..

apparently it scared the shit out of marina cos she actually called me to ask wad happened and all those... cos if i said smth so demoralising, her results would have come out a lot worse.. COS that time, after the test - i was looking super confident and happy while she was mulling over her mistakes and all those..

but thank god she got a Credit :D so did liching... nisa got a Distinction!! wow!! nisa finally overtook ching!! haha......

anyway, the talk with sam lee last nite was cool :D told HIM about it as well.. complained abt the petition and the background story.. so HE was saying, "how can such a thing happen???" implying the question: how come my classmates are so terrible.

and today was a rather happy day. no tuition, met him - went to marina barrage for him to recee, go shopping at bugis junction (finally got him a decent pair of jeans which actually made him look a lot better than his old old old jeans), eat sakae sushi, drink frozen margarita at caesars (i was checked out by the butch bartender, and he was checked out by the waitresses over at the pub), met frens and had a grrrrrrrrrrrreat time :D and he realised that all the jokes he's cracked with me, didnt really make me laugh... cos his jokes are all so deadpan!!!! as in, the jokes are "too intellectual" to actually laugh and get silly over it. or just TOO LAME. like when we walked past Ah Chew Desserts shop, and he said "i dun like this shop, all their desserts taste like snot."

i got the joke almost immediately......but i didnt laugh. i oso dunno why.. but i just didnt.. and while we were arguing abt how funny his jokes were, two south americans came out of macdonald's......took a good look at me and the second guy went "PHEW!"

immediately after that, the two of us broke out laughing.. and i told him that the feeling of getting checked out was weird... happy-weird, not bad-weird :D

yea yea, he's built up my self-confidence A LOT. and when i told him that i added sam lee on msn to encourage him, that not all rmit students are as dumbass, HE said "wah, you're learning after me la.....teaching pple how to gain self-confidence."

den i was "YA RITE" haha




wah, damn tired. i go sleep now. gdnite.