heh my bro went to kl, and bought weird food for me!! MINI CRABS!!! in a stick!! OMG.
and it tasted too salty.... but i still finished them :D hehe

and it's the same size as my mickey mouse!

look at these wonderful bouganvilla!! they were blooming so beautifully!

these was wad that particular bush looked like on the 12th of feb.. and i was feeling extremely down.. but my mood improved when i saw how this one bush was thriving out of the whole row of bouganvilla bushes, which were losing their leaves bcos of the hot hot weather.. and look at it 16 days later, on the 28th of feb!

it's beautiful!!

and up till now, it's still blooming.. and new flower buds are still coming out!!
it's amazing, how come i never saw how beautiful bouganvillas can get.

yes i was bored while studying at heeren's macdonald's..
so i took photos of...........FRENCH FRIES!

marina and nisa... taking self pics with my phone! amazing gals!
and marina is the fake minah with blonde hair..

isnt it amazing that when i first noticed that giant was selling cheap a4 paper, they onli took up half a shelf.. half a year later, they stocked up so much paper!! up to almost my height!! hehe!

yes, it's $3.78 for a rim of A4 paper - 70gsm, 440 pc.

cheap rite!?

omg im so cheapskate.

my bro bought this pair of bear paw slippers when he went to taipei last december :D hehe

play mahjong at sugarbro's hse!! hehe, so fun.. but so complicated. too complicated for me~ the combination part is okae, but it's the taking turns to take tiles, wad and how to take tiles which make me have headache! hehe~

see how fast their hands were shuffling the tiles!! my cam couldnt catch up!!

yes i was bored again while studying at imm's mos.... and i made this face with my cup of ice tea :D no i didnt use the tea. i used the water which condensed onto the cup's surface :D

oh ya, we ordered kfc while playing mahjong at sugarbro's hse... so nice!!!
but we paid for our meal in GOLD. heart pain~!

wad to say..

the first 2 gals to know was june and sheryl.. both were being as encouraging and supportive as can be.. and tolerating my blabbering as i sobbed and cried..

and june was constantly making sure that i was okae, despite exams being soooooooo close..

for that, i thank you two. really, from the bottom of my heart. for lending me the listening ears. i love you two :D

the next few gals who got to know were ching and marina.. nisa doesnt really care~

ching was the onli one whom i broke down in front of. but her shoulder was too low that time, so i didnt get to borrow her shoulder.. dun think i will ever cry on pple's shoulder sia~ weird.

i was on the no.99 bus to skool, when my emotions got the better of me. i stood at one side of the bus and cried. quietly la, wait other passengers think im crazy. after alighting and waiting for ching's bus, i continued crying.. but not much.

the dams burst once she got near me.. and i just cried out loud sia. thank goodness nobody was watching.. and i never knew that tissue paper can really get soaked by tears, until that time.

so ching, i love you too :D

as for marina, she was the verbal type of encourager la, so we discussed abt our love lives, talking abt bastards and bitches.. mostly from her side~ and i really appreciated that candid talk we had at heerens.. really made me let go a lot of burden, even though i still carry quite an amt..

marina, i dun dare to say i love you sia.. but i do :D

and den there's shandy, yiting and amazing shaoqin.. thanks gals :D you peeps are the best :))






im trying to pick up the pieces now. still trying. but i will need time. maybe a year. hopefully less than that. a few months?

i dunno.



the pain's still there, but not that excruciating oredi. thanks to the healing powers of time and galfrens :D

Not Fair

Not Fair - Lily Allen

Oh he treats me with respect
He says he loves me all the time
He calls me 15 times a day
He likes to make sure that I'm fine
You know I've never met a man who's made me feel quite so secure
He's not like all them other boys
They're all so dumb and immature

There's just one thing that's getting in the way
When we go up to bed you're just no good
Its such a shame
I look into your eyes I want to get to know you
And then you make this noise and its apparent it's all over

It's not fair
And I think you're really mean
I think you're really mean
I think you're really mean
Oh you're supposed to care
But you never make me scream
You never make me scream

Oh it's not fair
And it's really not ok
It's really not ok
It's really not ok
Oh you're supposed to care
But all you do is take
Yeah all you do is take

Oh I lie here in the wet patch
In the middle of the bed
I'm feeling pretty damn hard done by
I spent ages giving head
Then I remember all the nice things that you ever said to me
Maybe I'm just overreacting maybe you're the one for me

There's just one thing that's getting in the way
When we go up to bed you're just no good
It's such a shame
I look into your eyes I want to get to know you
And then you make this noise and it's apparent it's all over

It's not fair
And I think you're really mean
I think you're really mean
I think you're really mean
Oh you're supposed to care
But you never make me scream
You never make me scream

Oh it's not fair
And it's really not ok
It's really not ok
It's really not ok
Oh you're supposed to care
But all you do is take
Yeah all you do is take

There's just one thing that's getting in the way
When we go up to bed you're just no good
It's such a shame
I look into your eyes I want to get to know you
And then you make this noise and its apparent it's all over

It's not fair
And I think you're really mean
I think you're really mean
I think you're really mean
Oh you're supposed to care
But you never make me scream
You never make me scream

Oh it's not fair
And it's really not ok
It's really not ok
It's really not ok
Oh you're supposed to care
But all you do is take
Yeah all you do is take

i dreamt that we got back together

in that dream, we were as happy as can be.

and i really felt veri happy in that dream.





but pple say that dreams are the opposite to reality.

thinking of that, my heart aches. feels strangled.






reality is, we may never get back together again.

and i'll have to live with it.






im trying.

it's the 25th oredi eh? no, technically 26th.

last nite, i cried again.

actually i have been crying every nite.

heh.

every nite, i think abt him. every day, i think of him.

i go anywhere, and i will think of wad he will say, or find a thing to relate it to him. i will see things and find myself thinking of him.

on the road, i will see honda fits and think of him driving his car. i will think of the times we spent in the car.. we would go almost everywhere in that car. even to malaysia.

i would hug the big soft toy at the passenger seat and watch him drive, otherwise admiring the scenery or sleeping.. or quarrelling with him.

i missed the times i spent with him.

i missed gg to his hse to meet him

i missed gg to turf city to find him

i missed staying in his room, watching him sleep

i missed the times when we would behave like 4 yr olds and kajiao each other

i missed the times when it felt like we would never be separated

i missed hugging him whenever i had the chance to

i missed holding his hand

i missed watching him sneeze in that cute way

i missed laughing with him.




but somehow, no matter how much i miss him, he will probably not want me anymore.

no matter how much i realise i love him now, he most probably doesnt love me anymore.

it hurts so bad.

it feel terrible.

i feel like a zombie. i feel like a clown.

i try to hide the loneliness i feel in me, and try to enjoy the time i spend with my frens. but everytime, once i stop laughing, i feel smth die a little more within my heart.


im sorry gals, i just cant get the old eunice back anymore. she died 15 days ago.

and the current eunice is just a zombie. with tears. and mucus.

had some food at around 12am.. went to sleep at 1am..

had a veri boring dream... so boring that i wished i woke up soon.. and i felt soooooo nauseous.

can it be motion sickness from the dream?

i just know that i woke up at 4am, went to the sink and puked out all the food.








i've never seen shrooms burger in liquid form sia.......... eew.

i puked half a sink sia.... disgusting. brown stuff.

who will ever wake up to puke and go back to sleep again?!

and i didnt drink any alcohol nor did i dig my throat~

Without You - Hinder

Without You.mp3 - Hinder

I just wanna be alone tonight
I just wanna take a little breather
Cause lately all we do is fight
And every time it cuts me deeper

Cause something’s changed
You’ve been acting so strange
And its taking its toll on me
Its safe to say that I’m ready to let you leave

Without you, I live it up a little more everyday
Without you, I’m seein myself so differently
I didn’t wanna believe it then
But it all worked out in the end
When I watched you walk away
Well I never thought id say
I’m fine
Without you

Called you up cause’ it’s been long enough
And you said that you were so much better
We have done a lot of growing up
We were never meant to be together

Cause something changed, you were acting so strange
And it’s taken its toll on me
It’s safe to say that I’m ready to let you leave

Without you, I live it up a little more everyday
Without you, I’m seein myself so differently
I didn’t wanna believe it then
But it all worked out in the end
When I watched you walk away
Well I never thought id say
I’m fine
Without you

Cause something changed, you were acting so strange
And it’s taken its toll on me
It’s safe to say that I’m ready to let you leave

Without you, I live it up a little more everyday
Without you, I’m seein myself so differently
I didn’t wanna believe it then
But it all worked out in the end
When I watched you walk away
Well I never thought id say
I’m fine,
Without you
Without you
Without you
Without you
I just wanna be alone tonight,
I just wanna take a little breather


--------------------+--------------------

i guess the break up was the best solution btn us.

i finally understand the proverb "xiang ai rong yi, xiang chu nan"

for the first 2 days since the breakup, i cried my heart out. i cried and cried.
but on the eve of valentine's day, i stopped crying. and i havent cried since then.

i relish the happy memories we had together. but i had given up hope that we could get together ever again.

until now, i smile at the memories we had. i enjoyed myself when we went to river hongbao. i still rmb the time we went prawn fishing. or just watching you play your golf at the driving range. or gg round places hugging your arm and clinging onto you. and the times spent with your frens as well, they were such wonderful pple.. especially ivan and guiming, cos they always seem so comical!! jin chen, oso quite funny la.. as for jimmy, he's the best buddy you can ever get. he looks out for you. and he treasures the frenship he has with you.

but for the last week we were together, i realised that the honeymoon period was really over. and you started finding me a burden. maybe you always felt that i was your burden.

sorry for that?

here's me growing up without you.