it's the 25th oredi eh? no, technically 26th.

last nite, i cried again.

actually i have been crying every nite.

heh.

every nite, i think abt him. every day, i think of him.

i go anywhere, and i will think of wad he will say, or find a thing to relate it to him. i will see things and find myself thinking of him.

on the road, i will see honda fits and think of him driving his car. i will think of the times we spent in the car.. we would go almost everywhere in that car. even to malaysia.

i would hug the big soft toy at the passenger seat and watch him drive, otherwise admiring the scenery or sleeping.. or quarrelling with him.

i missed the times i spent with him.

i missed gg to his hse to meet him

i missed gg to turf city to find him

i missed staying in his room, watching him sleep

i missed the times when we would behave like 4 yr olds and kajiao each other

i missed the times when it felt like we would never be separated

i missed hugging him whenever i had the chance to

i missed holding his hand

i missed watching him sneeze in that cute way

i missed laughing with him.




but somehow, no matter how much i miss him, he will probably not want me anymore.

no matter how much i realise i love him now, he most probably doesnt love me anymore.

it hurts so bad.

it feel terrible.

i feel like a zombie. i feel like a clown.

i try to hide the loneliness i feel in me, and try to enjoy the time i spend with my frens. but everytime, once i stop laughing, i feel smth die a little more within my heart.


im sorry gals, i just cant get the old eunice back anymore. she died 15 days ago.

and the current eunice is just a zombie. with tears. and mucus.

had some food at around 12am.. went to sleep at 1am..

had a veri boring dream... so boring that i wished i woke up soon.. and i felt soooooo nauseous.

can it be motion sickness from the dream?

i just know that i woke up at 4am, went to the sink and puked out all the food.








i've never seen shrooms burger in liquid form sia.......... eew.

i puked half a sink sia.... disgusting. brown stuff.

who will ever wake up to puke and go back to sleep again?!

and i didnt drink any alcohol nor did i dig my throat~

Without You - Hinder

Without You.mp3 - Hinder

I just wanna be alone tonight
I just wanna take a little breather
Cause lately all we do is fight
And every time it cuts me deeper

Cause something’s changed
You’ve been acting so strange
And its taking its toll on me
Its safe to say that I’m ready to let you leave

Without you, I live it up a little more everyday
Without you, I’m seein myself so differently
I didn’t wanna believe it then
But it all worked out in the end
When I watched you walk away
Well I never thought id say
I’m fine
Without you

Called you up cause’ it’s been long enough
And you said that you were so much better
We have done a lot of growing up
We were never meant to be together

Cause something changed, you were acting so strange
And it’s taken its toll on me
It’s safe to say that I’m ready to let you leave

Without you, I live it up a little more everyday
Without you, I’m seein myself so differently
I didn’t wanna believe it then
But it all worked out in the end
When I watched you walk away
Well I never thought id say
I’m fine
Without you

Cause something changed, you were acting so strange
And it’s taken its toll on me
It’s safe to say that I’m ready to let you leave

Without you, I live it up a little more everyday
Without you, I’m seein myself so differently
I didn’t wanna believe it then
But it all worked out in the end
When I watched you walk away
Well I never thought id say
I’m fine,
Without you
Without you
Without you
Without you
I just wanna be alone tonight,
I just wanna take a little breather


--------------------+--------------------

i guess the break up was the best solution btn us.

i finally understand the proverb "xiang ai rong yi, xiang chu nan"

for the first 2 days since the breakup, i cried my heart out. i cried and cried.
but on the eve of valentine's day, i stopped crying. and i havent cried since then.

i relish the happy memories we had together. but i had given up hope that we could get together ever again.

until now, i smile at the memories we had. i enjoyed myself when we went to river hongbao. i still rmb the time we went prawn fishing. or just watching you play your golf at the driving range. or gg round places hugging your arm and clinging onto you. and the times spent with your frens as well, they were such wonderful pple.. especially ivan and guiming, cos they always seem so comical!! jin chen, oso quite funny la.. as for jimmy, he's the best buddy you can ever get. he looks out for you. and he treasures the frenship he has with you.

but for the last week we were together, i realised that the honeymoon period was really over. and you started finding me a burden. maybe you always felt that i was your burden.

sorry for that?

here's me growing up without you.

a fren recommended me a video of a stand up comedian...called......RUSSELL PETERS!!

omg, he's soooooo smart!!

and rich enough :D

check out his hse.....

v-day sux this year.

getting dumped a few days before it, sux.

bet being dumped on that day is the worst thing it can happen for 14 feb.

didnt want to stay at home, so i went out alone..

wandering aimlessly.. walking around bugis, checking out cheap bargains.. but somehow, i didnt have the mood to buy clothes. just looked at the clothes and price tags.. price quite reasonable, but i didnt feel like buying.. maybe cos feeling depressed..

v-day sux.

walk tired oredi, sit around lo.. go mos burger sit and drink soup... watch pple around me being joyous and happy.. den i sian sian.

den went to walk some more.. decided to buy a tube dress from this fashion.. they gave me 30% discount.. okae lo.

den walk walk some more, tired le... den i sit at bus stop stare into space.

otherwise i wld take up newspaper to read..

den walk some more..

walked all the way to plaza sing.

the worst place i shld ever go to on a v-day.

almost every gal i see walking on the streets, they are holding onto flower bouquets, roses, holding their partner's hands.. strolling around..

went to la senza to look at lingerie.. got my size, but not enough support.. so sian diao.. walk a bit more den went to mos burger to eat late dinner alone..




den i got his msg "Gd huh whole day not hm. Don hab me also enjoy."

my world just shattered sia.



he said such hurtful words.

he was the one who abandoned me. he is the one who shld be glad that he no longer had me as a burden. why is he saying such sour things which made me sound like im the bad guy here?

he is the one who is more likely celebrating sia, not me.



i decided to go home after that.

v-day 09 sux.

"Untouched"

Untouched - The Veronicas

I go ooh ooh, you go ah ah
lalalalalalalala

lalalalalalalala
I wanna wanna wanna get get get what I want
Don't stop
Give me give me give me what you got got
Cause I can't wait wait wait any more more more more
Don't even talk about the consequence
Cause right now you're the only thing that's making any sense to me
And I don't give a damn what they say, what they think think
Cause you're the only one who's on my mind
I'll never ever let you leave me
I'll try to stop time for ever, never wanna hear you say goodbye (bye bye bye)

I feel so untouched
And I want you so much
That I just can't resist you
It's not enough to say that I miss you
I feel so untouched right now
Need you so much somehow
I can't forget you
I've gone crazy from the moment I met you

Untouched
And I need you so much

See you, breathe you, I want to be you
Alalalala alalalala
You can take take take take take time time
To live live the way you gotta gotta live your life
Give me give me give me all of you you
Don't be scared
I'll see you through the loneliness of one more more more
Don't even think about what's right or wrong, wrong or right
'Cause in the end it's only you and me and no one else is gonna be around
To answer all the questions left behind
And you and I are meant to be so even if the world falls down today
You've still got me to hold you up up
And I will never let you down (down)

I feel so untouched
And I want you so much
That I just can't resist you
It's not enough to say that I miss you
I feel so untouched right now
Need you so much somehow
I can't forget you
I've gone crazy from the moment I met you

Untouched, untouched, untouched, untouched, untouched
Alalalala alalalala
Untouched
Alalalala alalalala

I feel so untouched
And I want you so much
That I just can't resist you
It's not enough to say that I miss you
I feel so untouched right now
Need you so much somehow
I can't forget you
I've gone crazy from the moment I met you

I feel so untouched
And I want you so much
That I just can't resist you
It's not enough to say that I miss you
I feel so untouched right now
Need you so much somehow
I can't forget you
I've gone crazy from the moment I met you

Untouched, untouched, untouched

Cash In My Pocket

Cash In My Pocket

Cash In My Pocket [Ft. Daniel Merriweather] - Wiley


Wiley - Cash In My Pocket feat Daniel Merriweather Lyrics

Won’t waste my money
No, i see a new path

Making new money now i got a new laugh (ha)
Music is playing me well, so i ain’t gonna be the one to find a new craft
If it ain’t for you find a new path
If you can’t hack it, better find a new class
Triple Akon gotta find a new pass
Drive me not to do when i’m buying new cars

All i really want is money in my pocket
Cash in my hand yo
Skrilla in my Wallet
All i really want is money in my pocket
Cash in my hand ye
Skrilla in my wallet

A dog gets one he puts away half
So when i get one i’m gonna put away half
I make money slow i make money fast
Then back to the hood so i can have the last laugh
Still laughing cuz i know i’m not a half
When we release we don’t wanna half chart
The IQ is high some of them are half smart
But i do it like Ronson hard days craft

All i really want is money in my pocket
Cash in my hand yo
Skrilla in my Wallet
All i really want is money in my pocket
Cash in my hand ye
Skrilla in my wallet (ye ye ye)
Skrilla in my wallet (ye ye ye)
Skrilla in my wallet (ye ye ye)

All i want is that cheese i’m tryna get that cheddar
Cuz money make the world go round
All i need is that bread with a little bit of a butter
Cuz i really need those pounds
So i counted it once and i put some in my pocket
And counted it twice then i make sure not to drop it
I got a London attitude don’t care
I don’t hear in my head by so many years in family crying out so many tears no way i’m gonna be broke yeah
Got money for the next year next year next year next year and the year after
Rides a marter like Shaun Carter and the Wayne Carter
But next year im gonna step up a gear and go harder
You know me im a master i cause disaster, i cause disaster
Anywhere on earth find money like anywhere i surf
Plus anywhere i lurk the ropes have earned the right to choose any stage anywhere i murk anywhere i am alert
Wanna make a decision, like being back in school doing revision.

All i really want is money in my pocket
Cash in my hand yo
Skrilla in my Wallet
All i really want is money in my pocket
Cash in my hand ye
Skrilla in my wallet

i shld hate him.

i shld hate him for dumping me.

dumping me at one side, saying that i need sometime to grow up. and forget him for the time being.

am i some kind of seed that is to be thrown into the soil and left to grow under darkness?

and when i've matured, he will come back and pick me up again?




how long will that be?




i've been reflecting on myself. yes i've done some wrong that have hurt him. but does it mean that he has to hurt me back? does it mean that he can just throw me off his back just like that?

with the snap of his fingers?

and just saying sorry over and over again?





and even though he said that we can be frens, he refuses to meet me.

how mean can he get?

i shld hate him rite? hate him to the core.




but i just cant hate him.
cos i love him.










but it's just a matter of time.

that i will grow to hate him.

for being so selfish.

Single Ladies by Beyonce

Single Ladies by Beyonce


Single Ladies - Beyonce


All the single ladies (7x)

[Verse 1]
Now put your hands up
Up in the club(club)
Just broke up(up)
Doing my own little thing
You decided to dip (dip)
And now you wanna trip (trip)
Cuz another brother noticed me
I'm up on him (him), he up on me (me)
Don't pay him any attention
Done cried my tears (tears), for three good years(years)
Ya can't be mad at me

[Chorus]
Cuz if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it then you should put a ring on it
Don't be mad once you see that he want it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Uh oh oh Uh oh oh oh oh oh Uh oh oh(x2)

[Verse 2]
I got gloss on my lips (lips), a man on my hips(hips)
Hold me tighter than my Dereon jeans
Acting up (up), drink in my cup (cup)
I can care less what you think
I need no permission, did I mention
Don't pay him any attention
Cuz you've had your turn (turn)
And now you gone learn
Wat it really feels like to miss me

[Chorus x2]

[Bridge]
Don't treat me to the things of the world
I'm not that kind of girl
Your love is what I prefer, what I deserve
Is a man that makes me, then takes me
And delivers me to a destiny, to infinity and beyond
Pull me into your arms
Say I'm the one you want
If you don't, you'll be alone
And like a ghost, I'll be gone

All the single ladies (7x)
Now put your hands up

just to let everybody know,

shi lisheng and i have broken up as of 10 feb 09.

unbeautiful


Lyrics | Lesley Roy lyrics - Unbeautiful lyrics

Don't hang up, can't we talk
So confused it's like I'm lost
What went wrong, what made you go
Don't pretend you don't know
This is me I'm unchangable

When did we fall apart
Or did you lie from the start
When you said, it's only you
I was blind, such a fool
Thinking we were unbreakable

[Chorus]
It was you and me, against the world
And you promised me forever more
Was it something that I said
Was it something that I did
Cause I gotta know what made me unbeautiful

[Verse 2]
I've been told what's done is done
To let it go and carry on
Deep inside I know that's true
I'm stuck in time, stuck on you
When We were still untouchable

[Chorus]
It was you and me, against the world
And you promised me forever more
Was it something that I said
Was it something that I did
Cause I gotta know what made me unbeautiful

[Bridge]
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up
Cause I'm only dreaming
Get out, get out, get out, get out
Get out of my head now
Because we're much better altogether
Can't let go

[Chorus] x2
It was you and me, against the world
And you promised me forever more
Was it something that I said
Was it something that I did
Cause I gotta know what made me unbeautiful

It was you and me, against the world
And you promised me forever more
Was it something that I said
Was it something that I did
Cause I gotta know what made me unbeautiful

... Made me unbeautiful

on the side of me - corrine may

dedicated to sheng

On The Side of Me - Corrinne May

I'm not the easiest person to love
I'm often the one who lets things go unresolved

Yet you choose to be
On the side of me
On the side of me
Yet you choose to be on the side of me
On the side of me

I'm not too proud of some things
I've done in my life
The skeletons in my closet
Are too big for me to hide

Yet you choose to be
On the side of me
On the side of me
Blessed Charity
You're on the side of me
On the side of me

Everyone needs a friend to hold
When it's cold outside
And there's no place to go
Everyone needs a friend to hold
All alone I cried
There was no place to go
I remember when nobody cared
But you

I'm not the easiest person to love
But you, you've opened your heart to show me what I'm worth

'Cause you choose to be
On the side of me
On the side of me
What a mystery
You're on the side of me
On the side of me

Everyone needs a friend to hold
When it's cold outside
And there's no place to go
Everyone needs a friend to hold
All alone I cried
There was no place to go

I remember when nobody cared
Nobody cared
But you...

Yeah you choose to be
On the side of me
On the side of me