wow.... i am amazed by men.

i just received a msg from some stranger guy who immediately introduced himself and then the next sentence went "I would like to ask you out for a drink/coffee some time"

wahhh.... he is fast. really just one word can describe wad i think of him. fast.

he can be a real good fren for my bro sia.. same type of guy, as far as i can see from his testimonials and comments~ just that in his profile, he sound soooooo philosophical abt wedding dinners. and his blog entries are those kind of gp essay sia~

and yes, i like older men.. and this older man appears to fulfil many things i wish to see in my man.. i like~

budden i practically wrote an essay as a form of reply, mainly saying that i want to take things slooooooooow. haha~

hai, guys.

ahhh... yes, my currently FAVORITE korean drama serial!

What's Up, Fox?

otherwise known as

Foxy Lady!

one's 33 and naive. one's 24 and mature. guess who is who!!

omg, i just lurrrrrrrrrrrve how the 24-year-old chases after the 33-year-old. then smth happens and the 33-year-old tries ever so hard to get the 24-year-old back into her embrace.

one place where you get to know the characters up close is......

http://forums.popcornfor2.com/index.php?showtopic=20918

oooh. how can you NOT fall in love with the characters?

when they seem so real and yet so hard to find?

their relentless love for each other is smth worth crying for. their preseverance makes me wanna clap for them. their jokes make my stomach ache from laughing so much. i had moaned and wept as they went their separate ways, knowing very well how much they loved each other. i wanted to slap those who made such a silly plan to break them apart cos i wanted them to know that it's useless. my heart broke for when the duo broke up so reluctantly. i practically melted when i saw the guy did so much for the gal, putting her in the first place for everything and anything. their love onscreen made me have hope abt love as i tot, maybe THIS is wad love is.

the show made me have sleepless nights. okae, i did sleep, but i gave up quite an amount of sleep to watch the show!

got some stuff to report.

yesterday was david's last day in pfssg. kinda sad that he left.. he's one storyteller.. and even though he looks his age, he has the chubbiness and hairstyle that makes him look so cute! soooo chubby! budden he's not plump or anything..

yesterday was oso the day i had migraine.. ate panadol still no use. sian~ and i was practically flooded by work. so i was 3 quarters dead by 5.30.. budden after my bus nap, the headache was GONE!! was practically celebrating in my head when i went to submit my timesheet..

today, i went to sim to apply for the bachelor of science of economics and finance at rmit. at first we [wanru, liqian and me] wanted to apply for accounting and finance at uol, but there was the risk of not being admitted bcos we would be on the waiting list.. so liqian and me decided to apply for rmit instead..

omg, taking 154 is one nervous ride when you dunno exactly where the bus is taking you too.. in the end, liqian and me [who took 154 and panicked when we saw that we were getting closer to town instead of getting closer to home] took a cab home.. and flagging the cab down was a torture that went on for an hour. grrrrr........... i shall investigate wad bus to take to and fro sim.

i feel extremely discouraged now. maybe there'll be news reports abt a gal who killed herself just bcos she got rejected by all 3 unis [smu, ntu then nus].

damn sian. after coming home from applying at sim, i opened the letterbox and saw the rejection letter from our veri own NUS. so now, im a thorough reject.

GRRRRRRRRRRREAT.

can i just die? can i just bury a hole for myself and hide in there? i dun like the feeling of being rejected. i dun like it when i hear of how others have received acceptances from the unis which had rejected me. i dun like it when i cant share their excitement abt which uni they're gonna accept. i just hate it when everybody else get to enter uni without appeal and yet im like a pathetic pig just begging for a place in those 3 unis.

i dun like the idea of appeal. it's like begging. it's like sitting along the roadside, waiting for some social graces.

and just now when i heard the "hakuna matata" song from my mp3 phone, i tot "there's no way that we wont get to worry over smth in life. hakuna matata is meant for the kids." but i still yearn so much for hakuna matata to come into my life and let me just live on.

it means no worries for the rest of your days.
it's a problem-free philosphy.

hakuna matata.

no way that there'll be no worries.
no way that your life will be free of problems.


and it all depends on how you handle your problems, rite? it all depends on whether you bother to get worried over your problems, rite?

how to do? nine days in hong kong, inclusive of arrival and departure days. we can go to macau? shenzhen? lantau island? many islands!! honestly, i would like to try hiking in hong kong. budden kinda dangerous i understand.

but there's one important answer: who's gonna sponsor me?

i better stop buying stuff from ebay.

james

right now, i keep thinking abt james. why ah?

i dun think i will like the answer to my question.

i onli know that he's a good guy.

and i do rmb that im not ready for a romantic relationship with ANYBODY.

why do i feel so shameful? why do i find myself desperate for a guy?

18-May-07

8.15 a.m.

My mama woke me up with all her enthusiasm abt today’s aircon-fixing..

Den we went about wrapping our furniture with newspapers. Seemed to me that we’re painting the walls instead of installing the new aircon~

10.13 a.m.

The first aircon man arrives, had a brief view of the current situation of our ol’ aircon, talked to my excited mama abt the wires and such~

10.42 a.m.

Right now they seem like they’re taking the whole house down. The master bedroom is NOISY. My room, I cant hear anything for the time being.. My bro room seems quiet as well.. haha~

The guy in the master bedroom is quite cute sia.. hehe…..
There are so many cables, wires, hammerings, etc………

And here I am blasting my Linkin Park: Minutes to Midnight!!! Woohoo!! Bought it at $17 plus and there’s the additional gigantic poster!!! Wwwwwahhhhhh… BIGGER than A3 sia.. is there smth like A2?? Or A1?? I think that poster is around there…… and there are 2 sides!! So I can alternate btn sides according to my mood~

11.05 a.m.

Ah, they’re drilling holes in the walls!!! Wah, noisy.

11.19 a.m.

I am hungry. Give me food.

11.56 a.m.

I am still hungry. Feed me.

12.45 p.m.

My hunger is appeased.

1.35 p.m.

Let me have my bed, aircon men!! I wanna sleep!!! Give me back my room~

2.22 p.m.

haiii… they haven’t finished!! Everywhere’s concrete and dust…and wires, cables, men….and more dust.

My stomach is starting to ache.. oh no…..

2.31 p.m.

I realize that I can no longer stomach the gore in Happy Tree Friends. Right now I actually wonder why I liked to watch the cartoon so much in the past.. Now I just find it irritatingly disgusting. Sorry HTF fans….

And the guys are still around.. wonder when will they leave for us to do the cleaning up. There’s the bedsheets, blankets, pillow cases, floor, EVERYTHING. Omg……. O.o

2.42 p.m.

Yawn~ im bored and sleepy. And I still cant claim possession of my dear dear bed. Man, I think I can sleep on the floor oredi. I can fall asleep while standing up now….. but noooo, im just sitting infront of the laptop and trying to stay awake while listening to my MTM!!!! I just keeeeeeeeep repeating the whole album.

Of all songs, I think I like one song the most. Leave Out All The Rest.

Here’s the lyrics [I think I can post it up rite??]

I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared
After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When im done here
So if you’re asking me I want to know

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I’ve done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
Don’t resent me
And when you’re feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out the rest

Don’t be afraid
I’ve taken my beating
I’ve shared what I made
I’m strong on the surface
Not all the way though
I’ve never been perfect
But neither have you
So if you’re asking me I want you to know

Forgetting / all the hurt inside you learned to hide so well
Pretending / someone else can come and save me from myself
I can’t be who you are

---

Actually, I love practically all their songs rite now!!!

They’ve been stepping out of their comfort zones to make this album, and I’m so lovin’ it!!

3.02 p.m.

Well, the aircon guys look like their jobs are near complete! They’re fixing the piping oredi! Next should be getting the compressor fixed!

3.24 p.m.

They’re still at the piping.

4.55 p.m.

yES! The compressor is now in the limelight!! Wow, the guy installing the compressor did quite a lot of stunts sia…

5.40 p.m.

After some testing and such, the installation is complete and the guys are gone!! And everything is dusty and smells funny… there’s a strong glue smell…. They did some glue job on the piping.. Wahhhh… another spring cleaning.. But this is more serious spring cleaning.. Cos concrete seems to be EVERYWHERE!!! Ahhhh! *pull hair* more housework to do!!!

Wahhh~ the aircon so shiok!! Budden the air smells funny as well… reminds me of the times when I went for the sec3 level camp at M’sia’s Desaru Resort…. Memories~

9.04 p.m.

Now my mother said that the more I helped, the more mess I made. Yeah right. Shouldn’t have helped her in the first place.

==========================================

21-May-07

Back from work and back from chalet. Work was kinda tiring for me after 2 days and 2 nights of chalet.. but fortunately, I managed to feast my eyes on Lenz san!! Haha~ and there were some problems with regards to work.. budden I am oredi abt to leave pfssg soon, so im not that stressed abt making a blunder.. muahaha.. was so hungry while working [cos I skipped breakfast and lunch] that Cam let me go have some instant noodles in the middle of work.. haha

Anyway, chalet was basically fun.. just that preparing sheryl’s present was kinda stressful.. seems like im doing everything sia… and veri few were interested enough to actually give me a hand in doing the photo album..

And for the first night, we played the drinking game we played after gradnight and I got quite drunk.. well, drunk enough to feel giddy and blurt out almost everything.. but I was conscious enough not to mention some stuff which will cause some discomfort to James, who happens to be a guy. Haha.. how to tok abt menstruation woes and such when guys are around sia?? Kinda odd, even for a drunk.

Sheryl got more drunk than me, I could tell.. suddenly she was telling alan [her godbrother] that his gf is angry with her and she started to cry.. she said many things, many.. so did i.. so alan was handling her, june was handling me and james was handling both drunks.. but hey! I was still conscious, just that i couldn’t keep my balance and blurted all my thoughts out.

Kinda funny oso la.. Sheryl started the toking while I just laid there and listened to her tok.. and wadever comments or advice I had, I spoke it out.. and the peeps were like, getting me to keep quiet.. in the end James put his hand over my mouth.. wah, he got big hand.

den I felt, why does no one care abt me? Tot abt it so much that I started to cry.. den I asked june the question.. and that started my lecture. Haha… den Sheryl would call for alan, call for me and den we two drunks toked, abt our dear mothers.. we were having relationship problems with our mothers for different reasons and so we shared our troubles..

and june was telling me to go and sleep. And I continued toking. And james cover my mouth many many times. And I still talked. Haha, I talked with his finger on my lips once.. den he pushed his finger down, so I countered by pushing his finger back with my lips.. haha!

finally fell asleep while sheryl continued talking.. den when i woke up, i went to downtown east with james and wanru..

den the 2 of them went to sleep while i remained awake.. even though i really wanted to go back to sleep.. so i went back to downtown east to buy some balloons and some stuff.. ended up they were useless cos i was the onli one blowing and that the balloons burst easily.

when everybody FINALLY woke up [sheryl and alan went to alan's house to bath cos she wanted a heater, june and leonard went to leonard's home to sleep], we went to white sands to have food. den james, cherie and wanru left.. walked around the place after that with sq, shan and jialing and dijie.. den june and leonard came to join us.. den we went back to chalet to meet sheryl and alan.

den we watched tv, until 5pm.. rented bicycles for 2 hours, went all around pasir ris park, went back and we started bbq-ing for the 2nd time... bbq-ed the leftovers from the previous night.. haha.. den we played taidi! haha, i finally understand quite a bit of the game sia.... took me soooooooooooo long to understand. den the peeps decided to go to sleep in case sheryl wanted to drink again.. haha, funny la..

and cherie was sooooooo worried that i will drink again until she kept sms-ing me.. cherie gal, thanks for the concern!! MUAH~

and to june and james, thanks for taking care of me when im drunk! i just realised that we get thirsty easily when we take too much alcohol~ thanks for getting me water to drink!! and thanks for listening to me pour out my sorrows~

thanks for letting me dump out my troubles.. you dunno how much you helped just by listening y'know? and yea, covering my mouth REALLY helped.

james and jialing left at around 6, wanru and i left at 7.30.. so early!!! ahhh!!! i wanna sleep.

gotta go now, tata!

it's been quite a few days that i havent blogged cos i've been blocked by the "barriers to entry" to access the "create post" area in blogger.. actually, once i sign into blogger, EVERYTHING either slows down or just stops. i wonder why~

anyway.. kinda upset now. on the 14th, it'll be my sec skool's past vs present games day.. it's an annual thing which i had never attended but this time i really wanted to go and just absorb some fairsian spirit that has been diminishing in my heart.. one word to describe the reason for this urge is "recharge".. in fmss, i had ups and downs. many downs, i can say. but somehow, there are the happy memories in fmss which i cherish a lot. some, but it's enough oredi. but i swear i will never want to take teaching as a job.

jiebin sent me an email abt the games day, it seemed so fun!! and now when i look at the pics of mr wee, i realise how much he had changed.. he's no longer that suave, no longer that active, he's no longer the prince charming of fmss. he's getting more haggard, getting plump [chubby chubby wee~] and all those. and his fashion sense never changed. it's jersey, shorts and sandals. weird.... sandals... haha, fuhgedaboudit.

but i like to be reminded of how beautiful i tot he was. he's my first crush.. now im at my....i cant count how many crushes i've had~ HAHAHAHA... but no matter wad, im no ready for a romantic relationship. it's just weird. i like being alone i guess.. dun dare to have anybody to become my world.

=============================

anyway, went to celebrate henry wife's 31st birthday last night.. had steamboat and a mini bbq in the house.. all the oil in the house.. omg.... haha. i loved the pork!!!! wu hua rou leh!!!

den calvin sent clarice, chinya and me home.. he's one great married guy! haha.. somehow, i think married guys [besides those who have those bloody affairs and INTEND to have affairs] are great guys! haha.. more mature, and yet they maintain that sense of humour and socialiability.

anyway, i gtg now. tata!

is it weird or blogger has a serious blogger problem? rite now im posting on a window where the buttons are just randomly placed here and there.. and i havent been blogging cos i couldnt even sign in for goodness sakes..

anyway... im just zonked. during work, i was literally dozing off even though my workload was kinda heavy.. i just cant control my eyes and my head.. they just seem heavy and the desk seemed like a nice place to rest my head..

hai~ david's last day is the 25th of this month.. so wad i can say is that he's onli worked at pfssg for 7 months! wow.. hardly a year and he's off to his new job.. not that the staff benefits arent good, that the salary isnt high enough.. is just that he had been eyeing the F&B industry and it just so happens that he had been hired for approx the same amount for salary to enter the industry even though he didnt have any experience on these stuff..

oh yar, and it so happens that sandy is actually my father's ex-colleague! haha, she was saying that she had worked for aiwa for around twenty years and then i asked her if she knew my father.. once she heard my father's name, she was kinda surprised and quite delighted.. haha~ wow, amazingly she rmb-ed him even though they havent met for YEARS..

wah, so exciting.. this sat will be going zhenfa to have a class bday celebration!!! wahh.... will be so nice to meet them again~

oh yar, yesterday met lorraine for dinner at jp's bento box! the food's kinda fine for the price.. had pasta with chicken terriyaki while lorraine had an unagi set.. they gave me 1 1/2 pieces of chicken, that 1/2 was literally a piece of carbon.. but that one piece of chicken was niceeee~ den we went to the pets' shop to look at dogs, cats, guinea pigs and hamsters.. saw one extremely exotic cat.. its fur is BEAUTIFUL! looks like a carpet~
erh... wad else do i wanna say? i kinda dunno.. guess i ran out of stuff to blog~

omg omg omg!!! im so happy!!

recently bought beige wedges and a white tote bag on ebay.. it's omg! im happy to find such nice stuff!! budden my onli worry now is whether it can be delivered to my place or not.. had an item get lost in the midst of delivery once.. thank goodness it's not veri ex, i just take it that the $20 flew away.. nth much i can do anyway.. had discussed with the seller. budden i oso dunno who that person is and wad is the truth. it can be that the seller just swallowed the money and decided not to send the item over and think of reselling it? nvm. i hope this is the one and only case of misdelivery that will happen to me.

still, im so happy!!!

here are wad i bought this week!

going hong kong.. something i've been waiting for for more than a year.. i rmb that pj choir or band went to hong kong and brought back the pics and gave us a ppt in the lecture theatre last year around march.. the pics and tok made me want to go hong kong so much! and those tvb drama serials always seem to have the most beautiful scenery to be the background for the most wonderful shows!

i wanna go experience the many many many steps which police officers can never seem to overcome while chasing petty thieves in comical police shows.

i wanna experience the clubbing and pubbing in hong kong as well, budden i kinda scared and oso dun like the idea of inhaling cigarette smoke..

i wanna go to Apliu street to see wad great buys i can get!

i want to see the night scenery of hong kong which appear sooooo many times on tv!

if possible, i want to see many many tv artistes, etc etc!

and i veri much want to go to the spot where leslie died. i just wanna go there and feel some pain that he left behind. i oso wanna go to madame tussaud's museum [dunno if i spelt correctly] to look at his wax statue, budden i know that the entrance fee is HIGH. i guess, i'll give it a miss.

so many things i wanna do, but rite now, wad i really have to do is to save up for the trip.

wow, kwan hong made me this ubber cool website!!

http://www.eunice.youaremighty.com/

so cool!

so encouraging!

wow, kwan hong made me this ubber cool website!!

http://www.eunice.youaremighty.com/

so cool!

so encouraging!

great. there goes my sarcastic mother. saying that i will get cheated over at hk. will get caught and be sent to prostitute myself. that i will die there, perhaps.

maybe that's wad she's been wishing. maybe she's always been hoping that i'll get out of her life, once and for all. she never loved me. she onli had eyes for her son. SHE NEVER LOVED ME. her eyes were practically shining with pride whenever she looks at her son. sparkling, some may say. and she doesnt even give me a glance.

rite now i guess a song really fits into our situation.

enjoy the lyrics.

GOOD ENOUGH by HOOBASTANK

I only wanted you to feel,
How I thought you deserved to feel.
The way you always said you wanted to.

You wanted all we have to be real,
And every word we say to be true.
Still after all I gave it's not enough for you.

Well, I can't give any more,
So now I'm ginving up.
'Cause nothing's ever good enough.

And the more I try to pour,
The less I fill your cup.
'Cause nothing's ever good enough.

I only wanted you to see,
That you can be who you wanted to be.
And fill the lonely void inside of you.

I gave you everything that you need,
Did what you always wanted to do.
Still after all I've done I can't get through.

Well, I can't give any more,
So now I'm ginving up.
'Cause nothing's ever good enough.

And the more I try to pour,
The less I fill your cup.
'Cause nothing's ever good enough.

Good enough!

I've wasted my time!
Go find someone!

Good enough!

Well, I can't give any more,
So now I'm giving up.
'Cause nothing's ever good enough.

And the more I try to pour,
The less I fill your cup.
'Cause nothing's ever good enough.

Enough, enough, enough!

many many songs by hoobastank's "every man for himself" are wad i wanna let you hear and get you to know that it's coming from my heart. it's as if someone read my mind and put it into words whenever i go into depressed mode.

try to treat me like a daughter who needs some love, some care and some concern.

damned sad.

jialing oredi went for the smu interview eons ago.. shaoqin got the acceptance letter from ntu centuries ago. and sweetin got all acceptances from all 3 unis and the news hit me like a loud "BANG".

why? cos my letterbox has not brought me any good news so far, and no uni's calling me for interviews.

this is starting to feel a lot like hell to me. MUCH worse than the time i waited for my pae and jae results to come out. worse than the time i waited for...well i forgot wad i waited for.

i just HATE waiting. and i hate to make pple wait.

i hate the word "wait".

it means you have to put everything on hold even though you veri much want to carry on.

it means opportunities fly past you as you just

sit there and WAIT.

haii... there's the size problem alrite?

been looking around.. for dorothy perkins, im a size 16. and that's 40-32-42. just nice, that's my stats..

and if you wanna know your size for dorothy perkins, you can go to http://www.dorothyperkins.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/StaticPageDisplay?storeId=12552&catalogId=20552&identifier=dp%20size%20guide

and then i look around even more and i got flabbergasted. did i spell that correctly? nvm.

well, go to http://reviews.ebay.com/Size-conversion-chart-for-US-UK-EUROPEAN-clothing-shoes_W0QQugidZ10000000002181633.

there are actually discrepancies in bra size as well!? i dun understand why.. why cant there be a international standard size chart??

hey! here's some spidey pics!

spidey!!!

wow, just came home after having lunch, watching movie and having dinner with jun ming. honestly, wad i have to tell him is, it's much better that we remain as frens. yea.

AHHHHHHHHH!! spiderman 3 is packed. packed in many ways. the cinema was packed. junming had to queue for 45 min to get the tickets.. he started queueing at around 11.30, all the way from outside the arcade and the tickets left available were the front seats for 3.20 and some back seats for 3.50.. and since junming will get sick sitting infront, we chose the 3.50 movie screening..

den we went to have lunch at mos.. walked around, i bought stuff.. he bought stuff.. walked around. finally walked till 3 plus and we entered the cinema! the advertisements. omg. i've seen them quite a number of times. especially that beijing olympics ad.. it now totally bores me. was kinda exasperated to hear the children scream and then see them point.

and finally, THE show started. woohoo!!!

i tell you guys one thing. it rocks!! the saddest part is 2 peeps died. dun worry, none of them is spidey. there was soooo much action and romance.. it blended well at some parts. but there was one when i got sleepy. wonder why, though. i was practically sitting at the edge of my seat. [maybe it's cos i felt squeezed if i lie on my seat.]

the show's veri nice. veri. i like it alot.

budden there was this malay couple beside me. i couldnt see them in the dark. but i veri well heard them. the couple chit chatted throughout the whole movie. at one point, the guy's phone RANG. apparently, he left it at non-silent mode. the ringtone flooded the whole cinema sia~ and then at one point when there was suspense and then a "BANG!", the gal went "ALAMAK!"

so wanted to get them to shuddup. budden i would have missed some nice scenes~

and it's not that i dun like malays.. i just dun like wad they do. i oso dun like wad some chinese do. i oso dun like wad some caucasians do. so? am i against the world? nooo.. so try not to say that im racist. BUT. it's an exception for bangladesh. i thoroughly have a kind of phobia for those bangladesh men.. cos one of them did smth veri bad to me. veri veri bad. extremely bad. from then on, i had this kind of panic whenever one of them is even a few metres away from me.

anyway, you know wad? GV had free gifts for the spiderman3 watchers!! it's a cd filled with wallpapers, movie trailers, screen savers, etc. woohooo!

okae, im tired. i go oredi.