i couldnt help but keep track.

i wanna know how he's been doing, whether he's being happy. i guess he is happy. i can onli guess.. i havent seen him for a long long time. ha, i cant even call him mine and yet here i am thinking and toking abt him.

i had many things nagging me at the back of my mind and i couldnt seem to rmb those many things that i should rmb.. and slowly, those things start popping into my head. one of those things included looking at his name. i oso wanted to hear his voice again. but i know that it will be impossible. so i can onli go google once in a while, type in his name and find out wad his achievements are so far.. he's an achiever. now, he's now a vice principal of a new skool.. northlight skool.. light. he did bring light into my dark life. he once did. i depended on the image i had created out of him.. i saw him as humorous, knowledgeable, sensitive, all the things i wanted in a man.

and yet, im starting to forget his face. im starting to forget him. or have i? have i just forcefully pushed all memories into the back of my mind while telling myself, "i must get on with life"?

there are so many things to say that i cant express.

damn, this post shouldnt even be posted. it's just the confessions of a lost heart.