today, 29th july 2006.
today, is the day i stop blogging until november 15 2359h comes.
i, eunice ying, swear to abstain from the internet and the television and all sorts of entertainment activities besides radio programmes and listening to music.
okae maybe i gotta watch some news and read some newspaper.
nothing else.
omigosh, wad abt my BLOOD+? wad abt all my ch55 shows!?
oooooh. they have to wait then.
it's only another two more months rite? no prob!!
28 July 2006
willkommen! bienvenue! welcome!!
willkommen! bienvenue! welcome!!
willkommen! bienvenue! welcome!!
willkommen! bienvenue! welcome!!
willkommen! bienvenue! welcome!!
willkommen! bienvenue! welcome!!
willkommen! bienvenue! welcome!!
willkommen! bienvenue! welcome!!
willkommen! bienvenue! welcome!!
willkommen! bienvenue! welcome!!
willkommen! bienvenue! welcome!!
willkommen! bienvenue! welcome!!
yea, im going crazy over something. something called the Caberet. okae, it's a musical. brilliant. it's my first time im watching a musical and i love it. first, it's bcos of kris phillips [otherwise known as fei xiang] who's participating as the emcee. he's brilliantly humorous. just couldnt stop laughing once he started singing the songs. no, it's not that he sang like william hung. instead, he sang beautifully awesome. it's the song itself. okae, the songS itselVES. damn funny. even the opening song. but the play ended with a sad note. veri disappointed that sally and clifford couldnt be together.. haiz.. sally continued to be a *ahem* prostitute, while clifford heads back home to america from beautiful berlin. however, the only laughable thing was that the emcee found the love of his life: a female gorilla wearing a hot pink evening gown. and they danced. together. omigosh, kris phillips is soooooooo tall la!!! i wont even dare to stand near him. and he's so *wow~*ly...............hot. the only word i can think of now is HOT. he has those muscles which are just nice, not too big not too small. and he can sing so damn well. but there's one thing i dun approve of abt him is that he sleeps around. haiz. but yea, such beauty should be shared among the women. hm, im talking way too much about him now.. but hey, im just so damn excited that i managed to see him in person [although from a veri veri veri veri far seat from the stage]!! he's so almost-perfect. and even though he's way past forty, he can jump and dance just like any twenty yr old! wowee.
i think he's taller than vincent.
willkommen! bienvenue! welcome!!
willkommen! bienvenue! welcome!!
willkommen! bienvenue! welcome!!
willkommen! bienvenue! welcome!!
willkommen! bienvenue! welcome!!
willkommen! bienvenue! welcome!!
willkommen! bienvenue! welcome!!
willkommen! bienvenue! welcome!!
willkommen! bienvenue! welcome!!
willkommen! bienvenue! welcome!!
yea, im going crazy over something. something called the Caberet. okae, it's a musical. brilliant. it's my first time im watching a musical and i love it. first, it's bcos of kris phillips [otherwise known as fei xiang] who's participating as the emcee. he's brilliantly humorous. just couldnt stop laughing once he started singing the songs. no, it's not that he sang like william hung. instead, he sang beautifully awesome. it's the song itself. okae, the songS itselVES. damn funny. even the opening song. but the play ended with a sad note. veri disappointed that sally and clifford couldnt be together.. haiz.. sally continued to be a *ahem* prostitute, while clifford heads back home to america from beautiful berlin. however, the only laughable thing was that the emcee found the love of his life: a female gorilla wearing a hot pink evening gown. and they danced. together. omigosh, kris phillips is soooooooo tall la!!! i wont even dare to stand near him. and he's so *wow~*ly...............hot. the only word i can think of now is HOT. he has those muscles which are just nice, not too big not too small. and he can sing so damn well. but there's one thing i dun approve of abt him is that he sleeps around. haiz. but yea, such beauty should be shared among the women. hm, im talking way too much about him now.. but hey, im just so damn excited that i managed to see him in person [although from a veri veri veri veri far seat from the stage]!! he's so almost-perfect. and even though he's way past forty, he can jump and dance just like any twenty yr old! wowee.
i think he's taller than vincent.
24 July 2006
i am happy today ;D
why??
cos i played softball in the heavy heavy rain~
i love pe oredi!! hahaha.. hey, dun say i bian tai k?
managed to win some points for the group k?? run one whole big round sia.. with chan tong literally chasing me around, calling me to continue running.. so funny lar~ in the end when the fielder is about to catch the ball [therefore making me lose], i came btn the fielder and the ball and the ball ended up hitting me and thus i stepped onto the thingy before zhixiang, the fielder, got to get the ball which was rolling on the ground.. haha~ kinda pain.. ah, i love softball now~
it's just that, i love outdoor stuff, like camping, hiking, trekking [wad's the diff btn hiking and trekking? ah, nvm.], kayaking/canoeing, etc. i like to do the preparation stuff and actually experiencing.. it's the onli time when i can get close to the thing i love most: nature.
when everything becomes too concrete for you, it's time to look at some green stuff.
just that i never had the time.
why??
cos i played softball in the heavy heavy rain~
i love pe oredi!! hahaha.. hey, dun say i bian tai k?
managed to win some points for the group k?? run one whole big round sia.. with chan tong literally chasing me around, calling me to continue running.. so funny lar~ in the end when the fielder is about to catch the ball [therefore making me lose], i came btn the fielder and the ball and the ball ended up hitting me and thus i stepped onto the thingy before zhixiang, the fielder, got to get the ball which was rolling on the ground.. haha~ kinda pain.. ah, i love softball now~
it's just that, i love outdoor stuff, like camping, hiking, trekking [wad's the diff btn hiking and trekking? ah, nvm.], kayaking/canoeing, etc. i like to do the preparation stuff and actually experiencing.. it's the onli time when i can get close to the thing i love most: nature.
when everything becomes too concrete for you, it's time to look at some green stuff.
just that i never had the time.
22 July 2006
look at this. only a 36-second video. and those flashes are not lightning, those blasts os sound which follows the flashes are not thunder. those are bomb blasts. i counted, those blasts were almost 2km away from the site of filming. how i know? i counted the time interval btn the flash and the blasting sound; took 6 seconds. den 6 x the speed of sound = 6 x 330 m/s = 1980m.
somehow, i feel afraid and protected at the same time.
21 July 2006
19 July 2006
just now i felt suicidal. why? i dunno.. maybe it's cos my mother is giving me a lot of pressure this time. maybe it's cos i feel so damn lonely. maybe it's bcos im being me: depressed. maybe it's just that i no longer have the energy to carry on at that time. maybe it's bcos of the poor results for mid year. i have 3Fs. wonderful. beside me was the window. i visualised pushing the grille away, opening the window and sit there. den i imagine myself calling my mother to come to my side so that i can say goodbye. so that i can make her regret for the rest of her life for making me feel that way. for making feel that im better off non-existent in this world. that im useless. that im worthless. uncalled for. not needed a single bit. unwanted.
after my nap, she kinda flared up at me for smth i dunno. so i decided to have cold war with her. i dun tok to her. den after that her tone of voice improved, so i tok to her. childish eh? but i cant help it. sometimes i really feel like flaring up. just slamming my fist into the glass table and tell her off while feeling the pain in my hand, feel the blood flowing out of the wound and onto the floor. i bet that feeling is much better than the feeling i have inside. the feeling is suffocating me oredi. sometimes i just want to take a breather but i cant. cos i dunno where it is. i dunno where my haven is. in the darkness, im just searching. searching for something i dunno. something that can make me feel impt. all through these seventeen years, i had not much of an aim. i drifted through those years, i guess. now im sinking into quicksand. sinking into an abyss of worthlessness. the black hole.
after my nap, she kinda flared up at me for smth i dunno. so i decided to have cold war with her. i dun tok to her. den after that her tone of voice improved, so i tok to her. childish eh? but i cant help it. sometimes i really feel like flaring up. just slamming my fist into the glass table and tell her off while feeling the pain in my hand, feel the blood flowing out of the wound and onto the floor. i bet that feeling is much better than the feeling i have inside. the feeling is suffocating me oredi. sometimes i just want to take a breather but i cant. cos i dunno where it is. i dunno where my haven is. in the darkness, im just searching. searching for something i dunno. something that can make me feel impt. all through these seventeen years, i had not much of an aim. i drifted through those years, i guess. now im sinking into quicksand. sinking into an abyss of worthlessness. the black hole.
17 July 2006
i have been thinking just now. no, it's not the first time that im thinking.
i looked down my kitchen window and watched a lorry driver parking his vehicle, a car driving past under my window, a man walking away under a streetlight, a woman walking with her head bent downwards.
it's like with or without me, their lives will never change. the wind will still blow, the earth will still spin. time doesnt stop, neither does it slow down or speed up.
everybody has their own sadness. they oso have their own reason to be happy. they hide the secrets that only they know. they lead their own lives.
life is tiring. im tired. im life?
i looked down my kitchen window and watched a lorry driver parking his vehicle, a car driving past under my window, a man walking away under a streetlight, a woman walking with her head bent downwards.
it's like with or without me, their lives will never change. the wind will still blow, the earth will still spin. time doesnt stop, neither does it slow down or speed up.
everybody has their own sadness. they oso have their own reason to be happy. they hide the secrets that only they know. they lead their own lives.
life is tiring. im tired. im life?
ahhh.. im here to blog. and im damn tired.
yesterday i went for church cos it's youth sunday and i giving support to the youth ministry, now officially called YOUTHphoria. den there's this second reason: im meeting my dear dear fren.. haha.. he wanted to tok to me abt some stuff and kinda threatened that he doesnt tok to me something bad will happen.. haha.. in the end i gotta go rite? den there's that third subconscious reason for my going there. i wanted to see him. not my fren. he's him. kinda missed seeing him.. but nah, he's not in church. den when i was abt to forget him, one of his church fren asked his close fren," where's t** c****?" and that fren said,"oh, he's not feeling well today." and they were toking behind me and somehow i felt that the words were blasting into my ears. loud and clear. okae, beyond loud and clear. too clear. my heart literally sank. cos i definitely couldnt see him. and oso i was pretty concerned abt his health.. he's the kind who rarely fall prey to the master of sickness. and when he gets a simple sore throat, he needed to hug the microphone and the amplifier for a week. so cute rite?
today, the most eventful thing was during pe. it's softball!! i love soft ball! my hand gets bigger in this game. and when i bat the ball, i gotta run from the orignial point to one point den to the original point. in the end when i was running to the one point, my shoe slipped off. and i slide and skidded. and rolled everywhere, according to shaoqin. but i remember the last thing i saw when rolling down was my flying shoe. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... den i rolled onto the floor.. den i roll one more time.. den i started laughing at my clumsiness.. den i felt this smarting sensation at my left knee... now, that sensitive spot has become red and swollen and i accidentally let it touch water [A LOT OF WATER] while bathing.. OW. so i quickly wiped at it and the pain kinda doubled. den after bathing i applied zambuk [it is the best!] and put my trusted plaster over the wound.. now it looks nice and neat and the pain is literally non-existent. hehe~
and hey, even though i fell, i managed to bat the ball! without even hitting the dustpan! and when i was running, i was thinking," wah, eunice so super, nobody catching me at all~" and when i was feeling powerful, my shoe flew.
ermm, the dustpan joke is only known within my class, so if you wanna know more abit it, you ask.
yesterday i went for church cos it's youth sunday and i giving support to the youth ministry, now officially called YOUTHphoria. den there's this second reason: im meeting my dear dear fren.. haha.. he wanted to tok to me abt some stuff and kinda threatened that he doesnt tok to me something bad will happen.. haha.. in the end i gotta go rite? den there's that third subconscious reason for my going there. i wanted to see him. not my fren. he's him. kinda missed seeing him.. but nah, he's not in church. den when i was abt to forget him, one of his church fren asked his close fren," where's t** c****?" and that fren said,"oh, he's not feeling well today." and they were toking behind me and somehow i felt that the words were blasting into my ears. loud and clear. okae, beyond loud and clear. too clear. my heart literally sank. cos i definitely couldnt see him. and oso i was pretty concerned abt his health.. he's the kind who rarely fall prey to the master of sickness. and when he gets a simple sore throat, he needed to hug the microphone and the amplifier for a week. so cute rite?
today, the most eventful thing was during pe. it's softball!! i love soft ball! my hand gets bigger in this game. and when i bat the ball, i gotta run from the orignial point to one point den to the original point. in the end when i was running to the one point, my shoe slipped off. and i slide and skidded. and rolled everywhere, according to shaoqin. but i remember the last thing i saw when rolling down was my flying shoe. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... den i rolled onto the floor.. den i roll one more time.. den i started laughing at my clumsiness.. den i felt this smarting sensation at my left knee... now, that sensitive spot has become red and swollen and i accidentally let it touch water [A LOT OF WATER] while bathing.. OW. so i quickly wiped at it and the pain kinda doubled. den after bathing i applied zambuk [it is the best!] and put my trusted plaster over the wound.. now it looks nice and neat and the pain is literally non-existent. hehe~
and hey, even though i fell, i managed to bat the ball! without even hitting the dustpan! and when i was running, i was thinking," wah, eunice so super, nobody catching me at all~" and when i was feeling powerful, my shoe flew.
ermm, the dustpan joke is only known within my class, so if you wanna know more abit it, you ask.
14 July 2006
woohoo! i've watched POC!!
okae, i mentioned that in the previous entry.
today went to glass house's fish and co again. haizzz... dun wanna go there ever again sia.. the food's alrite.. dun really like the rice. too dry for me. the mussel, tried eating it, dun really like. the calamarie today is huge and soft, veri nice when with tartar sauce.. the fries are tasteless and too filling. they cant compare to mos burger's. the prawn is fine.. but not fresh enough, even though we were there quite early, at around 4~ and man, i love my chockie junkie milkshake. delicious. almost like sticky chewy chocolate. sucked my straw with much gracious difficulty...
and the group of guys which include jun tat, khai boon and zhi kai kinda made june, jialing, shandy, sheryl, yiting kinda "upset".. dun wanna talk much about it.. find it senseless. everything about it is senseless. many guys came today, excluding the rugby guys and nicholas. actually, the whole class, excluding the rugby guys and nic, came to wish her happy birthday.
now veri tired. but im gonna upload the pics i took today first before i leave the cyberworld. and after that im gonna piah the hmk for the weekend..
OMIGOSH!
why am i so bloody tired!? my eyelids are gonna have their reunion soon.................. ahhh!!
okae, i mentioned that in the previous entry.
today went to glass house's fish and co again. haizzz... dun wanna go there ever again sia.. the food's alrite.. dun really like the rice. too dry for me. the mussel, tried eating it, dun really like. the calamarie today is huge and soft, veri nice when with tartar sauce.. the fries are tasteless and too filling. they cant compare to mos burger's. the prawn is fine.. but not fresh enough, even though we were there quite early, at around 4~ and man, i love my chockie junkie milkshake. delicious. almost like sticky chewy chocolate. sucked my straw with much gracious difficulty...
and the group of guys which include jun tat, khai boon and zhi kai kinda made june, jialing, shandy, sheryl, yiting kinda "upset".. dun wanna talk much about it.. find it senseless. everything about it is senseless. many guys came today, excluding the rugby guys and nicholas. actually, the whole class, excluding the rugby guys and nic, came to wish her happy birthday.
now veri tired. but im gonna upload the pics i took today first before i leave the cyberworld. and after that im gonna piah the hmk for the weekend..
OMIGOSH!
why am i so bloody tired!? my eyelids are gonna have their reunion soon.................. ahhh!!
13 July 2006
yo-hoo!
i've watched pirates of the caribbean: dead man's chest!
beautiful show, beautiful pple. damn happy that i managed to catch it on its premiere.. but the place i went to was west mall. kinda small... but it's still bigger than the one at jurong east.
and the compass that doesnt tell north. instead, it tells you where the thing you want most is. oh i want that compass. and near the ending, jack sparrow was betrayed but satiated by one thing. but i wont tell you wad thing. after that, something big happened. man, that's big. man, i love jack sparrow. and at the ending that is not the end, someone you never expected to see appears rite before your veri eyes. wonderful. now i have to wait for part III to have the questions in my mind answered. for your info, part II and III have been filmed back to back, within a year.
wonderful.
i guess i have to wait till next year. man, poc grossed more than US$100 million. within A WEEKEND. that's two days, forty-eight hours. wow. i want the money. imagine, you get just one percent. that's a million. WAAAAAHHHHHH. im drooling.
i've watched pirates of the caribbean: dead man's chest!
beautiful show, beautiful pple. damn happy that i managed to catch it on its premiere.. but the place i went to was west mall. kinda small... but it's still bigger than the one at jurong east.
and the compass that doesnt tell north. instead, it tells you where the thing you want most is. oh i want that compass. and near the ending, jack sparrow was betrayed but satiated by one thing. but i wont tell you wad thing. after that, something big happened. man, that's big. man, i love jack sparrow. and at the ending that is not the end, someone you never expected to see appears rite before your veri eyes. wonderful. now i have to wait for part III to have the questions in my mind answered. for your info, part II and III have been filmed back to back, within a year.
wonderful.
i guess i have to wait till next year. man, poc grossed more than US$100 million. within A WEEKEND. that's two days, forty-eight hours. wow. i want the money. imagine, you get just one percent. that's a million. WAAAAAHHHHHH. im drooling.
12 July 2006
haiii... im dead. grades depress me. feel like just giving up. can we just forget everything about the mid years, the common test and move on in life?
decided to seek some fulfilment in ebay. ended up i spent until around $60 on 5 stuff.. received my first bidded item this evening.. the seller was a lil late.. but nvm.. the sweater is so nice! and then while waiting, i played with a vending machine and out popped a lemon lime 100+..... diao~ never drank 100+ before.. dun think will like veri much.. just drink as energy booster ba~
den most probably on saturday, me will be going to collect my second item after tuition.. it's another sweater.. hehe.. i like sweater....... dun have sweater before.. dun have skirt besides my skool skirt.. so im buying all my "first"s from ebay! cos im still feeling kinda awkward in clothes shop.. at least now i can dress like a GIRL. haha~
decided to seek some fulfilment in ebay. ended up i spent until around $60 on 5 stuff.. received my first bidded item this evening.. the seller was a lil late.. but nvm.. the sweater is so nice! and then while waiting, i played with a vending machine and out popped a lemon lime 100+..... diao~ never drank 100+ before.. dun think will like veri much.. just drink as energy booster ba~
den most probably on saturday, me will be going to collect my second item after tuition.. it's another sweater.. hehe.. i like sweater....... dun have sweater before.. dun have skirt besides my skool skirt.. so im buying all my "first"s from ebay! cos im still feeling kinda awkward in clothes shop.. at least now i can dress like a GIRL. haha~
08 July 2006
my nose is like experiencing repeated volcanic eruptions. just that the lava is the mucus. eew. but somehow, my lava seems infinite. with all the sneezes and the mucus, i just feel so drowsy and my head is heavy and aching. my nose. i cant feel its existence. it's as if that protusion from the centre of my face dun belong to me. i feel so weak.
and yet, im glued to this com and getting more sick so that i can watch BLOOD+.. nice anime. veri nice anime. im now at the 33th episode ever since this wednesday.. and there's around 50 for me to catch altogether. damn. how do i finish it before skool start?! and so far, youtube only uploaded 34 episodes. once skool reopen, i cannot watch it so intensely anymore. sad.
and yet, im glued to this com and getting more sick so that i can watch BLOOD+.. nice anime. veri nice anime. im now at the 33th episode ever since this wednesday.. and there's around 50 for me to catch altogether. damn. how do i finish it before skool start?! and so far, youtube only uploaded 34 episodes. once skool reopen, i cannot watch it so intensely anymore. sad.
07 July 2006
hey! before 5.15, im gonna leave the house to meet the gals.. now is 4.45. and i am veri veri sleepy and tired.. been out ever since 12pm.. went with my mother to dunno wad place to collect her winings.. den after that went to make atm card for me.. den we went to a place to eat some chinese food... den we went to ARTFRIEND to buy some of my stuff.. once i stepped into the place, my eyes literally sparkled.. if only i can have ownership of the shop.. anyway, i bought jelly wax for making jelly candle, clay to make some toys for myself and oso make some birthday present.. oredi have an idea of wad to make. something you can never dream of. muahahaha.. those whose birthday have oredi passed, you've lost your chance to get the special present.. muahaha.. the cards i made are non-exchangeable, so you dun need to think of exchanging the card for the present. and oso, the card cannot be found in any other place on earth, and i feel like im the monopolist. my products are unique with no close substitutes. MUAHAHAHA.. i feel the power. i have the market power! muahahaha.
ah, im just crapping under influence of the damn hot weather singapore has.
ah, im just crapping under influence of the damn hot weather singapore has.
06 July 2006
hm.. my mother struck toto. but i wont say more about that..
tmw i'll be going to town to have dinner with my fav gals! yea! woohoo! and i cant decide wad to wear.hmmm.. lorraine seems like she dun wear shorts nor skirt.. elin is getting more feminine as the day goes by.. two extremes.. so i just i'll act as the guy of the group.. i shall wear t shirt, pants and slippers! and oso my trustee ikea bag.
tmw i'll be going to town to have dinner with my fav gals! yea! woohoo! and i cant decide wad to wear.hmmm.. lorraine seems like she dun wear shorts nor skirt.. elin is getting more feminine as the day goes by.. two extremes.. so i just i'll act as the guy of the group.. i shall wear t shirt, pants and slippers! and oso my trustee ikea bag.
mannn.. i didnt know i went well off my 500th post..
now im posting my 509th entry of meaningless-ness.
thinking of getting lorraine's birthday present tmw.. budden it seems too fast.. too fast for me to have time to wrap up the present and write "dun open until 1st aug".. how? haiz..
maybe im gonna get her a bracelet? or maybe a pendant? den i liddat gotta get ready to buy elin's present as well.. in case she doesnt come back to singapore to celebrate her birthday.. i can oredi smell smoke coming from my pocket, my wallet and damn im hallucinating that my piggy bank is crying..
thinking of changing my blogskin into something more deep; both in colour and in thinking.. man, i didnt know im easily influenced by my age.. and im only 17+.. wad about when i turn 27!? i cant be opting for ah-ma clothes rite!?
now im posting my 509th entry of meaningless-ness.
thinking of getting lorraine's birthday present tmw.. budden it seems too fast.. too fast for me to have time to wrap up the present and write "dun open until 1st aug".. how? haiz..
maybe im gonna get her a bracelet? or maybe a pendant? den i liddat gotta get ready to buy elin's present as well.. in case she doesnt come back to singapore to celebrate her birthday.. i can oredi smell smoke coming from my pocket, my wallet and damn im hallucinating that my piggy bank is crying..
thinking of changing my blogskin into something more deep; both in colour and in thinking.. man, i didnt know im easily influenced by my age.. and im only 17+.. wad about when i turn 27!? i cant be opting for ah-ma clothes rite!?
05 July 2006
i know you dunno wad this story is all about. but i just feel so sad about this particular episode of BLOOD+ and i really wanna put this up on my blog.
letting you know the basics:
the old american man is the adoptive father of 3 children who come from different backgrounds. saya, the leading actress, is born a vampire slayer [and is actually veri veri old, just that she had recently "re-born"]. yet she is one of the vampires. and it is only through the blood flowing within her that can kill the vampires. now that the shape-shifting vampires, aka Chiropteran, are used by the US military as war weapons and now saya has to be put to good use - kill them.
and now, her adoptive father sabo-ed into becoming a vampire. no, not like saya, he will become a mindless blood-sucking machine. and before he morphs into one of them, he requests saya to do one last thing for him - let him die a human. oh man, the part when her blood slowly kills him makes it so hard to watch, so does the parts when the children slowly absorb the news and take it as it is.
his last words: ~
*watch the video and you'll know. his last words applies to everybody.*
yesssssh. today marks the end of my mid year papers. but damn the last paper was as hard as steel.
i think im gonna fail afterall.
slept at 1am and woke up at 4am, only to get such disappointing results. wad a great life i have afterall.
tonite, im gonna sleep at 2am and im gonna make sure i wake up at 2pm the next day. SHIOK.
i love sleep. but i dun love my bed. too narrow for me to spread my arms and sleep, cant toss and turn without having accidentally pushing my beloved bolster out of the bed. and the aircon.....not cold enough. i think i feel feel rite in the refrigerator with my quilt on.. oh, wad a nice feeling..
and i found a nice quote from the wife of the late Beatle John Lennon:
"im not saying im going to commit suicide. but it would be nice if i could live until i get sick and tired of living."
i share the same sentiments. but the problem is, im starting to get tired of living. but im not sick yet.. there's so many things that i wanna do: get a job, earn my first dollar, wear my first gown, attend my first prom, get my first date, find my first bf, lose my virginity, own my own home and decide wad furnishings it should have. damn. so many things, so lil time.
i think im gonna fail afterall.
slept at 1am and woke up at 4am, only to get such disappointing results. wad a great life i have afterall.
tonite, im gonna sleep at 2am and im gonna make sure i wake up at 2pm the next day. SHIOK.
i love sleep. but i dun love my bed. too narrow for me to spread my arms and sleep, cant toss and turn without having accidentally pushing my beloved bolster out of the bed. and the aircon.....not cold enough. i think i feel feel rite in the refrigerator with my quilt on.. oh, wad a nice feeling..
and i found a nice quote from the wife of the late Beatle John Lennon:
"im not saying im going to commit suicide. but it would be nice if i could live until i get sick and tired of living."
i share the same sentiments. but the problem is, im starting to get tired of living. but im not sick yet.. there's so many things that i wanna do: get a job, earn my first dollar, wear my first gown, attend my first prom, get my first date, find my first bf, lose my virginity, own my own home and decide wad furnishings it should have. damn. so many things, so lil time.
02 July 2006
i have discovered, in my blog, i have become superficial.
i have stopped talking abt wad im thinking. but i have started to talk about wad others think. i have started to copy and paste lyrics, words and thoughts others have written into songs. i have made "you've been tagged" stuff which dun reflect wad i think.
now, im gonna say wad i think.
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recently, i have been daydreaming. i have been looking at Urban, a section of Straits Times which comes every once a week. i have been looking at those pretty dresses and blouses and skirts that those fashionably-skinny models are wearing. and many a times i wish i was like them. normal. able to find clothes without feeling inferior. everytime i enter a shop that sells clothes i feel inferior. i feel like i dun belong. i just wish that i can leave the shop as soon as i step into it. i look into the mirror and my mood sinks into new depths. i look at those nice clothings that i most probably can never fit it and den i look back at myself, i feel like killing myself. but the lure of those nice clothings is strong and i dun want to stop looking at them and imagine wearing them and stunning everybody else that i can be beautiful, like them.
sometimes, life sucks till it becomes a huge vacuum. sucking me back into depression. into that bottomless pit all over again. or have i ever been out off that pit before? or have i always been in the darkness looking for that light and been thinking that i have always been in the light, just that my eyes just got used to the dark?
do you know wad im toking?
now, im toking.
i have stopped talking abt wad im thinking. but i have started to talk about wad others think. i have started to copy and paste lyrics, words and thoughts others have written into songs. i have made "you've been tagged" stuff which dun reflect wad i think.
now, im gonna say wad i think.
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recently, i have been daydreaming. i have been looking at Urban, a section of Straits Times which comes every once a week. i have been looking at those pretty dresses and blouses and skirts that those fashionably-skinny models are wearing. and many a times i wish i was like them. normal. able to find clothes without feeling inferior. everytime i enter a shop that sells clothes i feel inferior. i feel like i dun belong. i just wish that i can leave the shop as soon as i step into it. i look into the mirror and my mood sinks into new depths. i look at those nice clothings that i most probably can never fit it and den i look back at myself, i feel like killing myself. but the lure of those nice clothings is strong and i dun want to stop looking at them and imagine wearing them and stunning everybody else that i can be beautiful, like them.
sometimes, life sucks till it becomes a huge vacuum. sucking me back into depression. into that bottomless pit all over again. or have i ever been out off that pit before? or have i always been in the darkness looking for that light and been thinking that i have always been in the light, just that my eyes just got used to the dark?
do you know wad im toking?
now, im toking.
woohoo! i have made an achievement!
i managed to finish reading a 338-page novel within 3 hours!
never managed to do that in the past.. i think it's bcos this book is thinner than the past books.. onli 338.. the time span within that book was like only a matter of days and weeks and there were many recollections the characters had.. interesting story.. but like most books, the ending is predictable.. it just depends on how they end the story. dun understand wad i am toking abt? let's say, tom and sally lived happily ever after. but wad trials and tribulations did they overcome? was there a hidden secret between them? did they experience love at first sight? many twists and turns could have taken place and sometimes, simply reading the ending before you read the book is not enough. really.
i think i prefer jude deveraux and judith mcnaught's characters. they are the perfect pple you can never find in this world. they are beautiful, compassionate, kind, believe in true love, from the ancient times and they're everything that you look for in both men and women. i just love them!
every character has a life of its own.
when they cry, you can almost feel the wetness.
when they laugh, you can hear their rich laughter.
when they feel sad, you worry how you can ever live if you were in their predicament.
when one dies, you follow the other characters and cry with them.
when death is in the air, you can imagine a dark cloud hovering above the dying and feel sick as the pungent air of death floats by your mental nose.
see? books are just so amazing. or am i just being too imaginative?
i managed to finish reading a 338-page novel within 3 hours!
never managed to do that in the past.. i think it's bcos this book is thinner than the past books.. onli 338.. the time span within that book was like only a matter of days and weeks and there were many recollections the characters had.. interesting story.. but like most books, the ending is predictable.. it just depends on how they end the story. dun understand wad i am toking abt? let's say, tom and sally lived happily ever after. but wad trials and tribulations did they overcome? was there a hidden secret between them? did they experience love at first sight? many twists and turns could have taken place and sometimes, simply reading the ending before you read the book is not enough. really.
i think i prefer jude deveraux and judith mcnaught's characters. they are the perfect pple you can never find in this world. they are beautiful, compassionate, kind, believe in true love, from the ancient times and they're everything that you look for in both men and women. i just love them!
every character has a life of its own.
when they cry, you can almost feel the wetness.
when they laugh, you can hear their rich laughter.
when they feel sad, you worry how you can ever live if you were in their predicament.
when one dies, you follow the other characters and cry with them.
when death is in the air, you can imagine a dark cloud hovering above the dying and feel sick as the pungent air of death floats by your mental nose.
see? books are just so amazing. or am i just being too imaginative?
01 July 2006
there are these randoms thoughts popping up in my head,
so i gotta spilt them into different slots..
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hey june..
thanks for the email..
budden i kinda lazy to reply you an email.. hehe
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now studying my past mcqs for econs to prepare for the coming paper. im dead meat.
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suddenly, i tot of wad someone said abt admiring a married person for being so fit, etc. and now i wanna ask, "the most impt thing is, does it help to make her husband more?"
i think the most impt thing in life, is to find someone who loves you not for what you are or what you have done, but who you are.
so i gotta spilt them into different slots..
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hey june..
thanks for the email..
budden i kinda lazy to reply you an email.. hehe
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now studying my past mcqs for econs to prepare for the coming paper. im dead meat.
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suddenly, i tot of wad someone said abt admiring a married person for being so fit, etc. and now i wanna ask, "the most impt thing is, does it help to make her husband more?"
i think the most impt thing in life, is to find someone who loves you not for what you are or what you have done, but who you are.
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