sunday

my bro got into an accident. and he managed to survive.. den both knees kana.. one knee quite serious, the ligament torn. den we no choice bluff my mother that he got rollerblading accident.. no choice.. wait she go bonkers.. she was on the verge of going crazy when she saw him limping like an old man.. he even used his umbrella as his walking stick. why no get the real one? dun ask me.. maybe cos he didnt want my mother to know wad really happened, worse, exaggerate beyond logic..


yesterday

went out for lunch with lydia this afternoon; the other gals not free.. lydia got class, huiyi got cca.. den i forgot to ask evan.. hehe.. the lunch was at jp, she was a lil late.. but nvm.. den we went to mos burger to eat.. but since eels arent available, we ate teriyaki chicken burger.. den after that we went to the pet shop at jp.. the pets there are soooo cute! the hamsters, rabbits, guinea pigs, cats and dogs were so cute! got two rabbits, veri furry, were sleeping close together.. in fact, they were so close that i tot that it was ONE animal with lots of fur.. haha.. den got a veri furry kitty didnt care much abt human presence.. pple, including me, kept molesting it and it just turn around, take a glance at you, turn away, sleep. but sometimes, it will respond by following your hand.. den it will sniff sniff [maybe cos my hand got teriyaki chicken smell] den get tired of sniffing den sleep again.. but its fur veri nice!! it's those long long fur.. then you got notice that the strays normally have extremely short tails? well, this pet shop got all cats with long tails!

den my sis came and got me to watch "harry potter and the goblet of fire" after i bid goodbye with lorraine.. it's nice! budden im too tired to narrate the story to you le...


today

went to the library with yiting and SQ. fruitless trip. i waster my studying day. argh. i'll never study in a group. never!! dun wanna tok abt wad happened in the library. just wanna warn you peeps that the fire alarm has many false alarms and i am veri easily irritated when somebody rocks my table and chair, or shifting every one minute. i expect no movement, no human sound, no disturbance.

den on my way back on the mrt.. it was halfway from bukit gombak to bukit batok that the train suddenly stopped in one of the tunnels.. it just *stopped*.. den it continued moving and advancing to bukit batok.. by the time we reached bb, there was a smell of burnt plastic.. i'll recognise those poison fumes no matter where i smell them. den there's one guy [quite beefy, cute single-lidded eyes.. not my type.] who started sniffing like as if he hated the smell.. the others were like feeling abit discomforted but this guy is exaggerating the smell.. den i coughed cos i couldnt take the smell.. been kinda sensitive regarding my sense of smell, hearing and taste ever since i suffered that untreated case of food poisoning.. but, i havent been digging my ear, so im getting deaf.. regarding that food poisoning, it's easy to pinpoint wad was the culprit. it was nescafe mocha. why do i know? cos that was the only thing i consumed on that day before the discomfort came.. want me to narrate the story? hehe, maybe you're going "NO", but i cant hear you.... sooooo here goes:

i woke up at 4am in the morning. why? it was my last paper; the phy, chem mcq paper. had to study else i get myself strangled. had prepared myself a cold can of mocha to keep my eyelids wide open [but somehow, it cant work!].. while reading thru the notes, i drank. on an empty stomach. so that food poisoning thing, was my fault. when i settled down on my exam table, i started feeling nauseous. but there's no way will i leave the hall WITHOUT completing my paper. that's my last paper for goodness sake. i wont die if i dun go puke in one and a half hour.. so the whole paper had me wanting to dig a hole on those pieces of wood and empty my stomach right there. but you know wad? my science paper scored an A1!!! wow.. okae, back to topic. after that, i rushed to the toilet like a madwoman [must have looked pissed cos elin looked worried] and locked myself in the cubicle. but nth came out. man, that's worse than puking. soon, i managed to forget abt the discomfort. but while watching tv on my stomach, the pain doubled. it was dull, but it's strong. so strong that i could only hug myself into a ball, i couldnt bear the tot of stretching.. my mother and sis notice but i told them nvm.. i still remember how my mother scolded me for being sick when i was around five.. so i didnt want to go see a doc and throw money into the sea again.. so i suffered for around 3 days, the second day was worse. i ate and puked. i drink water, oso vomit out. nth could go in. even when i swallowed the panadol, it could not be absorbed in time. how did i know that? cos when i puked for the third time, i saw it floating on my puke. not in powdery form or anything. it looks just like when it first entered my mouth: a pill. i puked even more. puked out some blood and lots of bile. even when i didnt eat anything, i puked out more bile. man, the yellow bile is BITTER. i'll never forget the taste of it. eeyuck. the sad thing was, the thing carried on for 2 days only.. not enough time to become a skinny eunice.. i want to slim down!!


reflecting time

i found MW. i found out that he's working for the skools in the north zone. i found out that he didnt lie to me abt him working as a special assistant. ha, why in the first place will he want to bluff a student like me? there's no need for concealment. and i got his personal office number. damn, google's too good to me.
oso, i dreamt of him recently. i dreamt that i was back in fairfield as a student. i dreamt that he was still a teacher. i dreamt about fairytales being published in fairfield. i dreamt that in "beauty and the beast" had his picture and his autobiography. i dream that i spent many efforts getting the book but i still lost it. i even lost it twice. i left it at the foyer and left without it. i den went back to find it. i den left it behind somewhere else. but i couldnt find it. i combed the whole block and everywhere i went, i saw bits and pieces of him; pictures, him walking past me while walking down the stairs. i woke up without finding the lost book. i'll never find it ever again. cos in the first place, it never was mine. it never was. *sob* my feelings for him shouldnt have been nurtured in the first place. if i could turn time around, i will do the same thing. why? cos he had been my motivation, my reason why i persevered in skool regardless of how much i had been hurt, my christian role model.

wad he appeared to be was wad i wanted to be. and i still want to be like him. i want to be a christian counsellor. but...i still have bad thoughts. i am not yet qualified enough.

you see, i created a theory of leading life while i was showering.
every christian has his or her own mountain to climb. the Lord is just at the peak of the mountain, viewing the beautiful scenery of wad He had created and waiting for you to come sit beside him. however, you have to climb your way up, no matter how treacherous the path is. there may be landslides which either make you slide all the way down the ground bottom, or stop you from continuing your path. you may throw your hands up and shout," i give up!!" and turn back to your comfort zone and back to the arms of the devil. there may be rocks that tumble down and make you stop to think, "is this my tumbling block, or my stepping stone?".. you can happily climb over it and continue climbing your way up to the top, or say, "im tired" and cower back home. there may be the weather, but hey! you just need an umbrella or a poncho to get past the rain.. or maybe bring a heater too.. many things you can conquer. but there's one thing you may not conquer. that's yourself.
now, when you've reached the peak, you'll see that He had prepared everything for you; picnics, a cosy bed and comforter, your fav bolster and pillow, everything you ever needed, will need and wanted.. He'll give you everything, provided you give Him your love and complete effort.

you give Him your everything and only then He'll give you your all.