i've never had such a special feeling for anyone except him.. he has this charismatic smile which seems to brighten the day, since he smiles very seldom and his face practically crinkles up when he smiles whole-heartedly.. and i got reminded of ryan seacrest.. there's the twinkle in the eye.. maybe he has that smile juz bcos i am not in his life to make him miserable.. i am a miserable person and i cant deny it.. my mental msn messenger seem to be blocking off sooooo many pple that when i am alone with them, i have nth much to start a conversation with them that will last for more than a bus ride.. i juz cant open up to them except elin and lp and lydia and a boy, maybe two boys.. something is holding me back from carrying on with life.. i am changing, for the worse.. even though i have seemed to become more sensible like all humans do.. haiz.. suddenly, i found out that i have written out of point.. sorry abt that..
in the first place, i dun even know the exact reason how on earth i fell for him.. his good looks? the way he carries himself? the way he seems to always look like he's 25, maybe more than that.. i cant know more abt him at all.. he cant even remember me by name, i think.. so why on earth do i like a guy who does not know me at all? i love the things that i know abt him.. and i know that they are oredi enough to make me blind to his faults.. well, at least he's not malvolio or sir andrew.. and i hope he's not antonio, the gay of the play.. maybe i like the fact that he is able to be childish in a matured manner.. he knows when to be serious and when to be hyper.. unlike me..
he seems to be so near yet so far.. and this "angel of my life" seems to short to be one.. okae, why did i juz call him angel? heck.. maybe cos of the fact that i have not slept for more than twelve hours even though it is only 5pm in the evening..
[i slept at 11 and woke up at 4, what else do you expect but crap from a sleepyhead?]
